Love's Sins (Sequel to Silent Cries)

Chapter Four - Thanks Bud.

Two Months After..
Ryan's POV

It's so quiet now with the house by myself. I'm not used to it still even though Rory has been gone for two months tonight. There have been several attempts made at contacting me from Rory in the form of tearful phone calls, emails, letters, and even through friends of ours. I remember being so pissed when a few friends of ours took his side over mine, I didn't want them involved in the first place.

I groan, staring up at the ceiling from the half empty king bed. I still have a bitter pain that I cannot shake, but I'm carrying on the best I can. Work has been a bit of a strain on me but I DO love all that I do with it. I've been going through everything in my spare time home and have thrown out and boxed up a bit of Rory's things. I had Jess drop off his stuff to him since she knows where he is. She got back to me later on and told me that he was fully hysterical, crying the during the entire exchange and pleading with her and myself though I wasn't there.

I hear my bedroom door open and the lights come on, making me growl in disproval. My vision adjusts and I see Jess leaning up against the door frame, a look of contempt displayed across her features. I must've not heard her come in, stuck in my daze from between sleep and consciousness. "Bryan!" I hear her snap suddenly, walking over and sitting down on the side of the bed. "I'm talking to you!" She scolds, a dent of frustration forming in between her eyebrows. She must've been talking but I didn't notice her, that's a common occurrence with me nowadays.

Jess is one of my colleagues, she works in the same building as me in her own private practice. We met a year back and hit it off instantly. She knows about my past after having been around for so long and I know a nice bit of hers. She comes from a broken home of alcoholic parents and three troubled older sisters. It's funny how someone's rough past can make them either a total selfish monster or the exact opposite of that. Jess has been around often these past couple of months and I must say that I'm grateful for it.

"Sorry Jess.. Guess I'm just caught up in my thoughts again." I say, looking down at my hands after sitting up on the bed. She places a palm over mine and pats me reassuringly, "I know hon.. It hurts like hell." She whispers, empathy lacing heavily in her tone. Jess had lost a husband to leukemia a few years back and has always been empathetic with heartbreak. "I still just miss him I guess. I hate admitting it but I do.." I mumble, biting my lip to fight back oncoming tears. Crying is so pointless now. "You made a life together Bry, it's not gonna go away after so much time." She adds in my stead. I finally look up, wiping away a rogue tear with my sleeve and nod.

She's a very nice looking woman. I can't say that she's absolutely breath taking, not because of the homosexual thing but because she's not. Jess has chin length brown hair with dark grey eyes, her frame is slim curved but proportionate for her height, I asked her once and she said she was 5'2" which is gosh darn tiny. Her face is very plain and with no traces of makeup, her outfit consisting of long blue jeans and a black sweatshirt. She's just the right mix of feminine and masculine.

She gets to her feet, still holding my hand and pulling me up with her. I don't ever feel like getting up but I know it needs to be done, better than lying in the dark and wasting away time. Turning on her heel, she heads out the door and I follow her in compliance after slipping on my shoes. It's Friday night so I'm sure she's looking to go out.

xxxx

An hour later we sit in a local pub. People around us are loud and having seemingly the most joyous of times though their eyes show no sign of solid sobriety. I reach forward and pick up my beer, sipping gingerly every now and again as Jess tells a story between sips of her wine. "-He really was something. Always so stubborn with his own ways, Liam." She finishes. Liam was her husband, she was telling a story about how he wrecked their car once after the breaks needed fixing. He tried to fix it himself to save money and refused to listen to Jess when she told him to just get a mechanic to do the job, the crash being the result. I grin at her, the alcohol beginning to lull my mind and make everything lighter around me. Drinking is and has always been something of a treat for me, always in moderation.

We carry on like this for a while longer, stopping and having some appetizer and continuing our conversation between bites of the cheese sticks. "This is really nice." I say beaming after finishing off my beer. "Yeah it is. I'm glad I could help in anyway I could." She smiles, sipping at her wine. "Thanks bud." I chuckle, getting up from the my seat at the bar and brushing off my jeans. "I'd best be heading back before any of these drinks starts a fight or tries to drive. You'd best join me." I say, gesturing around to a pair of men at the pool table. "Let's." She replies, picking up her purse and heading towards the exit.

The car ride is silent aside from the low hum of the motor and the radio on high. Jess is the designated driver this time around, last time she was too buzzed to get behind the wheel so it's my turn this time. We pull up on the side of the road, I unbuckle my seat belt and thank her for the night before getting out of the car. "Bryan." She cuts in before I can close the car door. I bend down and look at her expectantly. "It gets better.. Just you remember that." She says softly, reaching up and patting the side of my face. "I know. I'm glad I have you." I respond, stepping back and straightening to close the car door.

I find my way inside the house after a few minutes and take a seat in the recliner, kicking up my feet and sighing in content. A friend like Jessica Worthy is truly a privilege, I owe a lot to her for sticking by me. I don't want to worry over Rory but I know it's a long road before the pain fades. My eyes flutter slightly, sleep taking a grab at me and I comply yet again. Insomnia at least is improving this time. I know I'll have to wake up and bare another day but for once that doesn't frighten me to death. Maybe it's that thought that finally allows me to drift off to rest.