Love's Sins (Sequel to Silent Cries)

Chapter Eighteen - Doing The Unthinkable.

After The Overdose..
Katherine's POV

My eyes flutter open to be met with a light so bright that it pierces my gaze. I feel incredibly light headed and exhausted despite having just woken up and have a fair idea of where I'm at. Judging from the light and the smell of disinfectant surrounding me, I'm in the hospital again. But for what I have no idea of yet.

With every gentle movement my body throbs in protest and stiffness from how weak I've grown. All I can recall is my descent into nothingness as... No, I won't even let myself remember that putrid act. I don't know how long I lye in bed motionless and eventually dozing until the door beside me opens.

Arching my back to sit up, I hiss through gritted teeth but manage to stay up straight and put my weight on my elbows for balance. Rory's eyes greet me, showing a quick shot of worry but that soon fades into anger laced with his smirk. "Dad came and got me from Ronnie's. He said that you overdosed and got your ass landed in the hospital just in time." His last comment is biting but answers my question as to why I'm here. On impulse, I scold him for cussing.

He just laughs it off. "Why should I listen to an addict? You are stupid to think you deserve my respect anymore." He jeers, his eyes now alight and relishing the hurt in my own that he put there with his insults. He's so much like his father in that moment that guilt and longing stabs painfully at my heart. It doesn't last long before my newly found temper raises up and causes my blood to boil.

I reach out and grab his shirt collar, wrenching him towards me with new found strength and am raising my arm for the strike. I don't stop myself this time and only feel the sting in my knuckles when I back hand my eight year old son across the face. The very thing I swore I would never do.

Tears spring into his eyes as faint remorse fills my insides. "You are just as bad as dad now!" He cries, turning and sweeping out from the room, slamming the door behind him in exit. All I can do is stare in shock, the breeze of his sharp exit brushing over my face. The boy had no right to mouth off to me but maybe hitting him wasn't the best of decisions. It didn't matter what I chose in that moment because he has no respect for me left anyhow.

xxxx

The confrontation left me completely wiped out for energy. I passed out within minutes of Rory's leave and have been woken up by my nurse to check my vitals and to coax some food into my system. "You know that little boy of yours is cute as a button. He has your eyes exactly." She compliments, regarding me with semi sympathetic eyes that portray no judgement.

"So I've been told." I mumble back, to far gone to try any harder for conversation. "You know you were darn lucky getting here when you did. If it weren't for those people dropping you off up front then you would've been in a whole heap of trouble." She finishes, adjusting my dosage of some fluid medicine and searching my needle wrecked arm for a vein.

Bile rises in my throat at her silent appreciation for Carla and Dustin dropping me off. Those two couldn't care less if I had lived or died. It was their fault in the first place for giving me too heavy of a dose. They did that just to take advantage of my drug overtaken bodily state and to violate me. I bite down hard on my lip to ward off the painful memory of Dustin's forceful entrance in me and find myself gasping for air.

"Easy there." The nurse coos, noting the heart monitor's sudden spike in rate. "Now, I want you to just lye back and rest for a bit. Your doctor should be in in a bit." She reassures me, turning her back on me and casting a quick glance over her shoulder at me, opening her mouth as if to say something but thinking better of it and closing it again before disappearing down the hallway. In my trance, I realize that I forgot to ask her name.

Doctor Mays appears not long after in her stead, branding his signature clip board and sullen expression as he evaluates my physical stand point. "You should be good to go in a couple of days. You were passed out for several hours upon your arrival but we were thankfully able resuscitate you in time." He trails off, flipping through some papers on his clip board.

"Though I do recommend you attend some rehabilitation services. I know you lack the sufficient enough insurance to really afford this but it's a free counseling group for addicts and I do believe that it could hold the potential to help you just as it has done for many others." He finishes, brandishing me with his familiar self certain smile that he gave to me the minute I first met my son.

Counseling has never been something I had ever been placed into or even considered. I grew up in a relatively healthy home and environment and clearly my parents could not be blamed or bothered for any of my problems. Only Lucas and myself are the ones to blame for those, otherwise, there's nothing else to pin up to.

"Thank you, Doctor but I think I'll pass on that. I don't think I will have time to care for my son and house while juggling a counseling group." I said, smiling at him sweetly as possible and grinning internally at his look of discontent. "Just know that you can always come back if you change your mind or are having any other problems, rather they be related to the overdose or to something completely different." He says, sending a wave of confusion over me at his words.

"I've seen many victims of abuse in my time as a doctor, Mrs. Neal. I also took notice of your son's rather frantic demeanor as he fled the hospital after having paid you a relatively short visit. If there's anything you ever need to speak about then I'm all ears." He sighs, looking me over with softened eyes lit up with compassion and an eagerness for me to open myself up to him.

I have to admit that he has never given me a reason to distrust him. On the contrary, he has every right to my trust but surely I can't burden him with another abused woman sob story. It's not like he can help me anyhow and talking about my issues with my husband always got me in deep trouble so talking about them with someone else is definitely out of the question.

"Thank you." I breathe after a brief pause to think over his suggestions. This dissatisfies him but he knows better than to push me any more than he already has and takes his leave after announcing that I will be free to leave within two days time if my stable condition holds.

I begin to doze again not too long after he leaves, pondering over his words and stuck on the events that unfolded before my admission into the hospital. The idea of opening up to a group of complete strangers for help and to listen to me is agitating and the betrayal of Carla and Dustin still resides fresh in the front of my mind. The affects of the rape surprisingly do not show but I will see in time if there is a possible pregnancy in my future. Not that I'd intend to keep it anyhow.

That night I come to a conclusion that pouring my hear out to anyone was the last thing that I needed at the moment. What really was important was surviving past my overdose and maintaining my relationships with my son and husband. I'm able to fall asleep with content at the solid conclusion I have made. Help isn't an option or aid if it will only make things worse.

Author's Note.

So there you have it, the impacts of the OD. As you can tell, Rory has lost what little respect he has for his mother by now and Katherine has lost her patience with him as well.

Are you shocked she hit Rory? Does it frighten you for her future that Lucas didn't come to see her? What about her conclusion and denial of help? This isn't surprising because most victims disconnect themselves from others after a while and see help as an impossible option.

Thank you all so much for sticking by me and reading. All of the votes and feedback are very well appreciated and are just so amazing. Next chapter we will be going back to Bryan's POV after Katherine tells the tail of the OD. So stay tuned :)

Until next time.. Stay Strong.