Shawn Mendes Imagines

To be Loved- 3

  (Y/N POV)

  That night was very long. I couldn't sleep, there was too much to think about. I've also been crying a river because the joy of my new found freedom that Shawn gave me. Granted I almost took my life.

  Shawn left for his room an hour later when I locked him out. I need my space and he knows that.

  He was crying too outside my door. It's heartbreaking to hear his sobs and sniffles and that I had to be strong for myself and not give in to him.

  It's the next day and the time is dawn of the morning. I'm sure Shawn isn't awake considering he's only been sleeping for an hour.

  My body still aches from last nights events. I heavily sigh and get up out of bed to run myself a shower. All this crying has made my hair stick to my face.

  Limping still, I'm pretty sure I pulled something while falling down. I run the faucet and wait for the water to turn hot.

  Stripping out of all my clothes, I turn and look at my bruised covered body. Another reason why I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with Shawn besides the fact that he's hit me, was because he was pressing on my bruises when he was holding me.

  As I examine my bruises, their scattered everywhere, starting from my chest to my shins.

  It's nothing I haven't seen before though. I sigh and step into the scorching hot water that coats my body giving me chills.

  After the shower, I put on my clothes I picked out and walk into my closet. I take out a duffel bag and a small suitcase and begin packing my clothes.

  In the long shower I took, I decided I'm going to go to my old apartment that I never sold. I usually go there in the day when Shawn has his daily outburst.

  I never stay overnight because I know Shawn's going to blowup my phone with not so pleasant text messages.

  But this time it's different. I'm going to live there until I'm ready to come back here.

  I only pack the important clothes and toilettes. It's about seven thirty when I check my phone.

  I put my duffel back on my shoulders despite the pain and roll the suitcase behind me.

Going pass Shawn's room, I try to silent not wanting him to wake up.

  As I get to the living room, I see Shawn asleep in the couch with one of his hands off the sofa.

There are tear stains on his cheeks and a distressed look on his face.

My heart swells at the sight. I drop my bag down and go to the closet to grab a blanket for him.

Walking over to him, I carefully drape it over him and kiss him on the cheek.

Suddenly his arms grab my shoulders and pushes me down to him. He turns me so he's hugging me.

I see his eyes flutter open and he looks at me with his bloodshot eyes. He looks straight and scrunches his face.

"Why are your suitcases next to the door (y/n)?" He questions squeezing me tighter.

I hiss as he squeezes my bruises. He loosens a little bit still has a grip on me.

"I'm going away for a bit." I tell him trying not to cry.

"Wait what? You're leaving me?" Shawn questions loudly sitting up so I'm now on his lap.

"No Shawn , I'm just leaving for a bit. I need some time to think about everything." I reply to him.