Shawn Mendes Imagines

Clean

(Y/N POV)

The water washes over my skin as I scrub my body as hard as can.

My eyes leak of tears, but they are no longer visible.

I rack another sob as I sit on the floor of the shower. Another 15 minutes pass, the water is getting cold so I get out.

The breeze of the night hits my body as wrap myself in the fluffy towel.

Putting on my clothes a run to my bed and hid under the sheets from all the thoughts that are chasing me.

What happened? What did I do wrong?

I squeeze my eyes in hopes of not letting my tears fall.

He said we was going to wait for me.

He said we were going to be together.

He said he loved me.

My method fails as I notice I'm crying again.

Shawn and I dated in high school. We were the happiest couple. Always going out every Friday night after his football games. We would just get lost in each other when we were together.

Time seemed to slow down when I was with him.

We were in love.

And then, his football career took off. So many colleges offered him scholarships to play for their team.

His dad wanted him to play at the best one. So then out time went quickly.

He had to go and I was going to stay here, in Michigan, by myself.

We didn't talk for months, maybe 4. It was the longest time of my life. But I understood, he had to practice and everything for college.

Then, for his last football of the season, I wanted to surprise him and show my support for him. I flew out to California for him, went to his football game, and when it was over, I was going to surprise him.

But, there was someone else. She ran up to him after the game, he picked her up and spun her around, kissed her. Just like he use to when we were I high school.

That's why he didn't talk to me. He had someone else.

I gasp left my mouth and he heard. He turned his head and saw me. The girl saw me too. She smiled kindly at me and kissed Shawn one time more on the cheek before leaving.

My eyes glossed over, as I dropped the flowers I bought for him.

His eyes flashed with surprise and pain as he walked closer to me.

I shook my head as I backed away and then ran. I ran as far as I could away from him.

The bad thing was, I didn't where I was running, his parents moved here with him and they let me stay with them in their guest room.

But I knew I couldn't stay there, not with the possibility of him bringing her home.

So I took all my belongings and got a room in a motel.

Now, here I am.

I sigh, reaching to grab a tissue to wipe my nose as someone knocks on the door.

I blow my nose, throwing the tissue in the trash as I lay back again. I'm just going to pretend no one's here.

The knocking continues as a muffled voice speaks up.

  "Open up, I know you're in there."

I roll my eyes at whoever it is, getting up and looking at the peephole.

  Shawn stands there with his hands in the pockets of hoodie.

  California nights get really chilly, so I crack the door open.

  We meet each others gazes as my eyes well up again.

It hurts seeing him and knowing he's with another girl.

  "What do you want?" I dryly say.

  He sighs before running a hand through his hair, eyes bloodshot too.

  "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Is the first thing he says too me.

  I scoff, closing the door but Shawn pushes it open, making me let go the the handle as it slams into the wall.

  "What the hell?" I yell as Shawn comes into my room.

  "She means nothing to me (Y/N)."

  Trying not to lose myself, I sit down on the ground as Shawn closes the door, leaning on it.

  "Don't make excuses Shawn, you love her, you let her wear your jersey. I don't care anymore, you're happy with her." My voice cracks softly, as I wince hoping he didn't hear that.

  By the time I open my eyes again, Shawn is right in front of me on the ground too.

  "I-I want you to stay, I need to work this out with you."

  "There's nothing to talk about Shawn, you found someone else. I just wished you would've broken up with me so I didn't lay in bed at night thinking about you and about how you said you loved me." Tears stream down my face as Shawn tries to wipe them away. I dodge his hand, wiping my own tears.

"I didn't know how to tell you (Y/N). I love you both and I don't know what to do." He admits, his head hanging in shame.

"You can't! You just can't Shawn! That's not how it works! You have to choose!" I cry as I stand up.

  The room gets silent as I wait for his answer.

  He looks at me as tears fall from his eyes too.

Scoffing, I go to the restroom and lock myself in there.

  I don't want him to watch me cry. To watch me cry over him.

  "I'm sorry (Y/N). I'll never stop caring for you."

  And then the door shuts.

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UNEDITED

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG, school and sports have got me ded

Love you guys and thank you for sticking with me, truly I love you

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