My Fiance

Fourteen

"Nothing I swear. I'm sorry." I lied. "You're not sorry. That's why your lips were busy while you left me in your classroom alone." He continued. "You saw that... James please try to understand where I'm coming from." I beg as he looked at me angrily. "Understand? I've been nothing but understanding Nadine. I'm engaged to you, left my school, and broke up with my girlfriend for you." He sighed placing his head on the steering wheel. That's not fair I thought. "I didn't ask for this James. You can't be mad at me. I said I'm sorry. Please understand me." I begged.

"Get out of the car." He said not moving his head from the steering wheel. "What...?" I gasp in a whisper. "Get out of my car Nadine." He repeated even softer than the first time. "I-..." I attempt to say but instead of making excuses for myself, I got out of the car.

I close the door and look at him from the passenger side window. He lifts his head and I thought he was going to leave but he parks the car and removes the keys from the ignition. Without saying a word, he locks the car and begins to walk away. Alone, dusk felt even sadder as I look at the sun begin to set. "I messed up. I messed up... I fucked up." I say crying. I hate myself because James was not the only person I felt guilty towards. Eli once again has made his way back into my concisions.

My phone buzzed, and Eli's name lit the screen. My heart throbbed even more and my tears began to flow. People glance at me, but I was a stranger. No one wanted to hear my story. Truthfully, I don't even want to hear myself cry because deep down I know, I have no right to. My feelings have left two people heartbroken, yet I justify my action with tears. I look at my phone and dialed the person I really needed to talk to.

"Thanks for coming." I say taking a seat on the bench as I watch people laughed in the park. "You know... I would come." He said crouching down to my eye level. "I'm terrible aren't I...?" I ask looking at his face. His expression did not change. "Do you love me?" He asked looking at me intensely. "Eli please... I can't answer that. Not right now and you know it." I whimper in frustration. He shakes his head in disapproval. "You're not fair you know that? This James kid comes out of no where and steals my girlfriend away from me." He continued. "I'm sorry." I say, but he puts his hands up not wanting to hear my apology. "You know what the worst part is?" He paused. "You gave in so damn easily."

Speechless I watch him stand up in frustration. "My girlfriend... let me go." He laughed, breaking my heart with the sound. Getting up from my seat and I wrap my arm around him. "I truly am sorry. I am a terrible person." I whisper letting my arms fall back down to my side. "I loved you. Please don't ever feel like I didn't. But it's not the same anymore. I'll still be here for you. I've known you for so long Eli." I say smiling and waving goodbye to him.

He stood there his expression unreadable. Speed walking toward where James had parked, I find it gone. His car was no longer where it was. He had left me. 

THREE DAYS LATER.

I had not seen him since that day he had left me. Frankly I feel numb, and it's pathetic. After calling him continuously for a day, I finally realized that he wanted a break from me.

"Nadine." My father said through the phone as I climbed into my car. "I need you at the company. Now." He said sternly, I knew instantly that I had done something wrong.

I pulled my sweater sleeves down and began to fidget with them. "Come in." My father said through his office doors before I even knocked. He slammed his pen down on the desk and got up from his chair. I could feel my blood begin to pump rapidly. What did I do???? I think to myself. "Do you want to explain to me why the engagement was called off?!" My father asked, his voice booming louder thanI had ever heard before.