The ride home was more silent than the ride to the doctor's office, turns out I have Dysthymic Depression. Dysthymic Depression is not extremely severe, but most people with this kind of depression think it's just in their mind and that they aren't suffering from a disease. Which can lead to bigger issues. When the doctor diagnosed me with it, it wasn't at all a shock to me. I mean, I always knew something was wrong with me. It took my parents longer to figure it out. I knew my Mom was going to try and talk to me as soon as we got home, but those kinds of talks always end in arguments and me locking myself in the bathroom and crying for hours. At first, the word 'depression' didn't fully sink in. It wasn't until I got home that it finally did...if anyone found out they would make fun of me. I would lose all my friends and be called constant names like 'freak', 'outcast' and 'psycho.' I couldn't tell anyone. I can't trust
anyone, anymore. I ran into my room and wedged one of my chairs against the door. I cupped my face in my hands and rested my back on the wall. Tears streaming down my face like a waterfall, I pulled my knees into my chest and cried harder. I cried and cried, cried so much that hopefully I would dehydrate myself to a certain extent that I would die. Anything would be better than living with this illness. I gripped my knees so tight that I left marks in them. "My,my,my,my Give me love. My,my,my,my Give me love." My Phone. That's the ringtone on my phone. That's the ringtone I set for whenever Louis calls. Louis. I stared at my phone, debating whether or not I should answer. Could I tell him? How would he react. I reached out with shaking fingers and enclosed the phone in my palm. I quickly wiped the tear stains off my cheeks as I brought the phone up to my ear.
"H-hi Louis." I sniffled, pushing strands of hair away from my face.
"Hey so what di-wait, have you been crying?"
"There's something I need to tell you...please don't let this change anything between us." more tears stung my eyes.
After I explained there was a moment of silence through the phone.
"Morgan, don't let anything get you down. You know the boys and I will always be here for you." Louis reassured.
"Thanks Lou," I replied smiling and wiping the dried tear stains from my cheeks. "Oh and I'll see you in LA in two days."
"YOURE COMING?!"
"Yup! My mom said yes! I'm staying with Christine and Madison!"
"That's awesome! I can't wait to see you!"
"Neither can I!....Louis can you do me a favor and tell the others boys about my...you know. I want them to know. And while you're at it tell Aubree as well?"
"Anything for you. Now listen I got to go. Ill talk to you on twitter later okay?"
"Okay, bye Lou!" After I set my phone down I began to pack for LA.
