The road trip (destiel AU)

part 5

"Thats not all." Cas said after they drove about a half hour in silence. The Coffee in Cas Hands was cold already and the sun left an orange Stripe at the sky. He didn't took his eyes from the horizon. It was beautiful, more like a painting than reality. Reality wasn't beautiful. Reality was cruel and disappointing.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, his brow frowned. He didn't said much since Cas told him his Story, neither had Cas.

But Cas wanted to tell him. The truth was buzzing in his stomach like a volcano, the words waited desperate to be finally spoken. He wanted to say it out loud, even when it was to a stranger he just met.

"The reason why my Family don't want to see me again, i'm not longer a part of it." Cas took a deep breath Just say it. "The truth is, they were to disgusted, to embarrassed when they found out i'm gay. They don't want a fag in the Family, least of all one who is married. They cared more about what would the neighbors say than me." He did it. He said it. A small weight fell from his chest. It felt good, to open up. Dean must thought that he was a moron or just crazy. He watched the Driver, waiting for a reaction.

Deans face dropped. So did Cas hopes. What did he expected? Of course Dean was disgusted at him. He expected him to shout, get angry, telling him to get his stuff and leave. Either Dean thought Cas was a Psycho or homophobic. Cas didn't know what would be worse.

"That sucks" was all Dean said "that with your Family. They should not treat you like that. Family should stick together, no matter what."

A way bigger weight fell of Cas chest, he didn't even knew it was there. It felt like he could breath better.

"So, what is with your Family?" Cas asked. He wanted to know Dean better.

"My brother is in University. Thats all i have. Our mom died when we were Little, our father died a few years ago." Deans voice was steady, but he couldn't face Cas and his lip trembled a bit.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Cas said quietly.

"There is nothing to be sorry about." Dean cut him off.

He opened his mouth a few times like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to start. Cas gave him time. Dean would speak when he was ready.

"My truth is... i was in a shit mood when my dad died. Out of control. Tried to cover it, to fill the hole he left. Alcohol, Boys, Girls.... but nothing was enough. Nothing was... i don't know. " Deans voice was insecure, not sure what he actually wanted to say.

"Sorry, i don't know how to say it. Normally i don't talk about stuff like that." Dean apologized, not sure for what exactly he was apologizing for.

But Cas nodded. "I understand. Keeping it inside is easier than open up and trusting somebody."

"yes" Dean said in a low voice.

But somehow they opened up, trusting each other. They exchanged shyly smiles.