The road trip (destiel AU)

part 10

Cas didn't dare to look back. He was afraid, if he would, his assertiveness would faint and he would run back to Dean. So Castiel walked straight to the Counter, with every step he became more insecure of what he was doing, everything seemed so unreal. The People, the noises, the wind. Just the Counter blazed in contrast to his surroundings, like there were out of Focus.

When he reached the line, Cas heard the well-known Motor sound. Instantly, without thinking, he turned around, to see the back lights of the Impala just in time. A wave of unspeakable sadness overwhelmed him. He watched the Car leaving while his heart collapsed.

That's it then. Time to move on

"Sir?" the voice of the Lady behind the Counter brought him back. Cas turned back and brought a ticket. Without even knowing or caring where the ticket would lead him.

After that, Cas got 20 more minutes to wait. Luckily, the bus Station had a waiting room. Cas slumped on one of the uncomfortable plastic seats. But couldn't keep himself calm. He thought about how uncomfy a bus must be after the Impala. Don't think about it. Was Dean out of the City by now? stop it!! where was he going? Arghhhh

Cas stood up and started Walking around, sitting would just make him think and he didn't want to. Because he had nothing better do to, Cas brought a water bottle and some Sweets from the automate. They had Dean's favorites Sweets. Before he could think it threw, he Held the packet already in his Hands. They tasted like him. Not that he knew how Dean taste like. But they filled him with nostalgia. He wished he could share them with Dean. He wished the Driver would be sitting next to him. Chuckle, like he used to. Oh, how he missed that tiny, adorable, cute chuckle.

Tears were filling his eyes.

Fuck! Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

Cas pressed his sleeves against his eyeballs to prevent the tears from Streaming down his face. But the more he tried not to cry, the more the tears were Floating. Cas led them. He led them falling down his face. He led the Feelings hit him. He led out a quite sob. He led his heart crack.

Why was the universe so mean? He didn't meant to.... wanted to..... Actually, Cas didn't know himself what he looked for. Not this. Not more Drama. Not more broken hearts. He didn't plan to fall in love with someone and then let him go. But then again, when do you plan to fall in love?

A cracking loud Speaker made Cas jump. Slowly, he shuffled behind the rest to their bus. Everything inside him screamed NOOOOOO but Cas  mind was blank, he switched on Autopilot and one second later he sat inside the bus and started out of the window. It felt cold and unpersonal. He liked bus rides before, now he just wanted to be back in the Impala. The busdriver turned an annoying Radio on, which made Cas roll his eyes. He looked to his side to share a bitch face with Dean, but of course he wasn't there.

The crack in his heart widened a bit more. What was he doing?? This was stupid. But before he could jump of the bus, the vehicle headed to the Highway already. Cas was sure now that he had to get of the bus. But what then? He had no idea where Dean was. He could be  miles away by now. Cas pulled out his phone, but cursed loudly (what made the old Lady in front of him turn around and look at him very offended) when he remembered that he didn't even had Deans number. What a fool am I???

He was Close to an heart attack. Breathing was hard, the air was to sick, his mind spun and he couldn't Focus. Everything was blurry. He hoped he hadn't to throw up.

I want to visit my brother who is in University.

The world stopped and fell back to his normal Speed. Dean told him where Sam studied. And he was still on the way to him. Quickly, he checked the bus schedule to find the right bus station on it. Relieved he fell back on his seat and took a deep breath to calm his pulsing heart.

It wasn't the end. He would see him again.

The Sunset looked way more beautiful now.