tomorrowland

liam

I resurfaced from my bedroom, where I've spent the last half hour releasing my stress onto a blade. My arms were pretty shot up now, and now my lower torso was starting to be attacked. 

Of course the other guys just ignored it. Which I liked, because the more they questioned the more I wanted to do it. Anything set me over the edge anymore, I was shook up all the fucking time. 

Management made Louis be my roommate until I become more stable, but it wasn't happening quite as fast I would like it too. 

Harry was hardly seen by anyone anymore. It was like he disappeared, but occasionally his picture would show up in the papers or on TV. It's not like we didn't want to see him but for the simple fact that we never got too. 

Louis seemed the worst out of everything to do with Harry. I guess management thought that putting too psychotics together would be best. Way to go management! Another point to you! 

Louis was watching TV, when the local London news came on. Normally I wouldn't be in London on our time off, but I had no choice. Besides with not knowing what was actually going on with Bo I didn't want to leave. This past year has been a living hell without knowing and with going back on tour in a few months the stress just kept building. 

Last year, after the festival, I quickly and nicely with the least amount of confrontation, I removed myself from the band. News of what happened at the festival spread quickly and even though Bo's name was concealed it still haunted me. A small part of me still believes this was all my fault; even though I know Jessica was the main person and hell even Harry was guilty. 

Now who pulled the trigger? Jessica did, she plead guilty and confessed which would determine her ten plus years in an American prison. Now Harry, his hands were on the gun, but he was trying to stop her, push her away and according to the police and detectives, if he didn't push the gun the bullet would've landed through something more fatal. 

I also regret leaving her in that hospital. I felt like that was the absolute worse thing I could've done, but whatever Simon says, you do. Even if that meant leaving the person you loved. 

"Anything interesting?" I asked Louis.

"Nothing much. Paps found Niall in New York a couple days ago and Zayn's in Florida."

"Figures," I said while heading the kitchen.

"Liam I know that you hate they left, but they're doing the right thing. They're moving on…maybe America wasn't the best choice to relocate for the summer."

He was right. No one knows how badly I wish I could be in America. "Louis I understand," I smiled faintly at him as he nodded and turned back to the television. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with tap water. 

I drank the glass empty quickly and just when I placed the glass down on the counter a knock came from the door. I exhaled. Management tells us strictly not to answer the door. We are technically invisible to the world. The paps haven't found us and we planned for them not too anyway. 

I looked through the peephole, just to make sure. 

"Who is it?" Louis asked from the living room.

"That's strange," I started. "It's Eric."

"What?!" Louis quickly got up from the couch and headed towards the door. "Eric?" He said more hushed, but Eric definitely could hear as he started to smirk. "What's the password?" 

"Louis is so cool," said Eric towards the door.

"Same old Eric," confirmed Louis. "Open the door."