The Emo Girl And The Nerd

I've Got A Decision

"Jordyn you should." Holly says as we walk down the school hallway.
"And what the hell am I going to say to her?" I ask.
"I don't know, but I think you should." Holly voices her opinion.
"I'll think about it." I say.
"You know that I'll go if you want me to and I'm sure Tyler will too." Holly says opening her locker.
"I know." I sigh.
"Just think about it ok?" Holly says.
"I will." I say putting books in my locker.
"Hey sexy." A voice behind me says.
Kane.
I turn around and look him in the eye.
"Go away Kane." I say glaring at him.
"Not until I get your number." He says smirking.
"Or not until you get my fist in your face." I say turning back around and closing my locker.
"Uh feisty." Kane says.
"Get away from her." Holly speaks up.
"Why?" Kane asks her.
"Because I'll report you to the principal for harassing another student." Holly says victoriously.
Kane scoffs and walks away.
"Thanks." I say smiling at Holly.
"No problem girl." She says smiling.
"So what's up with Dylan?" I ask curiously.
"I don't know, he's still been distant so I'm gonna go see him today after dance practice." Holly says closing her locker.
"Good luck." I say starting to walk down the hall.
"Thanks!" Holly calls to me.
I smile and walk out to the parking lot where Tyler is waiting by my car.
"Hey." I say walking up to him.
"Hey Angel." Tyler says kissing me.
I smile at the nickname that seemed to stick.
Guess I'm stuck with it.
"I'm so glad it's Friday!" I say sitting on the hood of my car with Tyler.
"Yeah same here." Tyler laughs.
I smile and look down at my hands resting on my lap.
"You've been thinking about your mom." Tyler says.
It wasn't a question but a statement.
"Yeah, maybe too much." I say.
"Have you decided to see her or not?" Tyler asks.
"I don't know.." I sigh.
Tyler nods his head and takes my hand in his.
I look up and meet his bright green eyes.
They held something like... Sadness and.. Fear.
Fear?
"What's the matter?" I ask him.
"I'm afraid of you going to see your mom, I don't want you to get hurt." Tyler says concerned.
"Thanks for worrying, but I haven't even decided yet." I say.
"I know." Tyler sighs.
"Holly says I should.." I say.
Tyler sighs and looks away from me.
Man life is a bitch!
First I accidentally fall asleep with Tyler and get in a big fight with my dad, then I find out Tyler's parents are getting divorced and he doesn't talk to me for awhile, and then I figure out that my own mother tried killing me when I was three and now I have to decide to go see her or not.
Yeah life really hates me.
I sigh and turn to Tyler.
"Don't worry about her hurting me." I say.
Tyler turns back to face me with an unreadable expression on his face.
"I'll always worry about you." Tyler says holding my hand.
I smile and look in his eyes.
"I'm gonna talk to dad today, tell him I know about everything then go from there." I say.
Tyler nods his head and kisses my forehead.
"I love you Angel." He says.

I walk into the living room to find dad on his computer, probably doing work.
"Hey dad." I say nervously.
"Hey honey." Dad says looking up from his computer.
"Um can I talk to you?" I ask wringing my hands together.
"Yeah sure." He says.
I sit on the couch and take in a deep breath.
"What's the matter?" Dad asks concerned.
"I need to tell you something..." I say.
"What is it?" He asks.
"I.. Found out about mom.." I say avoiding eye contact with him.
Dad sighs and puts his head in his hands.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask as tears well up in my eyes.
"I didn't want you to know that your own mother tried to kill you." Dad says looking up at me.
"I deserved to know." I say as tears run down my face.
"I was scared of what you would do." Dad says.
"I found out where she is.." I say looking down.
"You're not considering going to see her are you?" Dad asks.
"I don't know." I say.
"She tried killing you Jordyn! Her own daughter!" Dad all but yells.
"I know! But I need answers!" I say getting up from the couch.
Dad puts his head in his hands again.
"Dad I know you don't want me getting hurt by her, but I want answers, my whole life I didn't know why she left and now I do and I need answers." I say wiping my tears away.
"Just think about it for awhile." Dad says.
"I will." I say.
Dad nods his head and gets off the couch.
"And don't make a hasty decision." He says.
"I won't." I say.
"Ok, I'm gonna get back to work." He says.
"Ok I've got homework to do." I say heading up to my room.
I open my door and walk into my room.
My phone dings telling me I got a message.
I take it out of my pocket to see a message from Tyler.

Tyler: Hey little Angel😇

Me: hey what's up?

Tyler: ah homework

Me: eh at least it's Friday 😊😊

Tyler: yeah😊 so you talk to your dad yet?

Me: yeah I did.. And I told him I might go see her..

Tyler: you made up your mind?

Me: not yet, but I need answers

Tyler: just be careful

Me: I know, I haven't made up my mind yet tho

Tyler: on but I'll be here if you need

Me: thanks😊

Tyler: anytime Angel😇

Me: hah I'm no Angel

Tyler: oh but you are😉😇

Me: lol no

Tyler: just accept it cuz you're stuck with it 😇😝

Me: haha fine

Tyler: yes I won!!

Me: you're so weird!

Tyler: I know😋

Me: haha I gtg so homework I'll talk later

Tyler: ok bye Angel😇😊

I smile at his nickname and set my phone down.
Ok endless hours of homework here I come!

Finally three hours later I'm done with all my homework.
So I walk downstairs to grab something to eat.
Dad's still on the couch doing work so I don't bother him.
I walk into the kitchen and grab a box of mint oreos.
My favorite!
I run back to my room and throw myself on the bed.
I was only a few minutes into watching a re-run when thoughts of my mom clouded my mind again.
Why does she have to be a permanent thought in my brain?
I don't want to think about her.
Just for a few hours I need to forget her.
But my mind just kept replaying those words that I read on my computer screen.
'Lily Caldwell, arrested for attempting to drown her three year old daughter.'
What kind of person does that to their own daughter?
I'm pulled from my thoughts when Holly appears in my doorway.
She has tear stains on her face and her eyes are red and puffy from crying.
"Baby what happened to you?" I ask jumping up from my bed.
I pull her into a hug and she cries on my shoulder.
What happened?
Holly slowly pulls away from me and we both sit on the bed.
She wipes her tears away and I take her hands in mine.
"After practice I went to Dylan's place... He was with another girl." Holly sobs.
Anger boils up inside me.
He cheated on her!!
I pull Holly into a hug and kiss her hair.
Why would he do that to her?
He seemed so interested.
But I guess you can't trust anyone.
"He told me he loved me, Jordyn." Holly cries.
"I'm so sorry Holly." I say with tears in my eyes.
She nods her head and pulls away from me.
I blink away the tears in my eyes.
How could he do this to her?
Holly wipes away the tears running down her face.
"He's not worth your tears." I say.
"I know, but it hurts so bad." She says.
"I know." I sigh.
I actually did know how it felt.
Because I had been through the same thing.
But that's not a story for now.
Holly blinks away her tears and sits up straight.
"I'm not giving him the satisfaction of my tears." She decides.
"That's my Holly." I say smiling.
She smiles and hugs me.
"Thanks Jordyn, I don't know what I would do without you." She says.
"Same to you." I say smiling.
Holly pulls away and looks in my eyes.
"Have you made a decision to see your mom or not?" Holly asks.
"Yeah I've decided.." I say.
"And..?" She asks.
"Yeah I'm gonna see her."