When It Mattered ✔️

S E V E N

S E V E N
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"Everything... It just seems pointless. But when I'm with you, it's different. I don't know why."
— Natalie, Keith
~*~*~*~

What was I doing? Oh god. What was I doing?

"Turn around. Turn around. Turn around." My heart sped up in my chest until it was choking off my air supply. "Turn around." I squeaked out again, grabbing the seatbelt strapped across my rapidly beating chest with both of my hands.

"No way we're going back now." Raven lifted her hand out of the jeep and let the wind blow through her fingers as her long hair blew perfectly behind her, shining in the beautifully dying sun.

Meanwhile I was practically having a panic attack as my hair whipped every which way from the insane speed we were in. I was sure I was going to die from heart failure before I even got there. Why did I give Raven the directions before?

"Please, Raven." This time I was serious as I grasped her arm. "Please stop the car. I c-can't do this. H-he didn't want to see me ever a-again." My voice shook as my nerves overwhelmed my everything. Oh god. She just needed to stop. I was going to hurl or die or something.

Her grey eyes watched me with concern for a moment before flickering back to the road. "You're going to hate me." She sighed, "but I love you too much to care about silly things like that."

"Oh, I'm going to die." I focused on breathing and not the apartment only a few minutes from there. Oh no. Oh god no. What had I done. "Please Raven? I am literally begging you. I will even cheer. I will do anything." My eyes closed, trying to find solace in the darkness.

"Look, I know you are freaking out but can you still hear me?" She asked, turning down the radio and slowing down so the wind blowing into the car wasn't so consuming.

I wondered if the speed was safe to jump out without dying? Should I have risked it? Better not.

I nodded in response to Raven, hoping maybe she'd say something so magical it would make the horrible feeling of doom in the pit of my stomach disappear. I think it was alive. And hungry. I think I was being consumed by the inside out because even my man-eating insides understood how hopeless this situation was.

"Until you confront him, he's going to be stuck with you like a shadow. I think you need to confront the part of yourself that misses him and see what happens." She explained softly, "It couldn't hurt more than now, Gracie. You're already suffering so much and I can't do anything to help except for maybe this."

I opened my eyes, watching my best friend as her brows furrowed and her jaw clenched. "I don't hate you. But I'm not liking this plan either." I told her, sliding down the seat as I saw the familiar building coming up too fast. "It makes me want to cry and never stop."

She smiled encouragingly down at me. "I know, babe. I don't like it either. But I want you to be happy, okay?"

I whined loudly as I felt her slowing down.

Nonononononononono

"Come on. Do it for your readers. Face your fears."

"I hate you. But not really. Just a little bit."

"Get out," Raven ruffled my hair.

Groaning with a heart beat that was too fast to be considered healthy, I sat up, unbuckled, and stepped out of the car.

"You can do it!" Raven encouragingly shouted as she drove away.

Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait. SHE DROVE AWAY.