When It Mattered ✔️

T W E N T Y - T W O

HOLY CRAP I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!!!!! I WROTE A BOOK IN A WEEK. WHAT THE HECK.
T W E N T Y - T W O
~*~*~*~
"I came to my senses. Letting go of my defences.
There's no way I'm giving up this time. Yeah, you know I'm right here.
I'm not losing you this time
And I'm all in, nothing left to hide. I've fallen harder than a landslide
I spent a week away from you last night. And now I'm calling, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in. I'm all in tonight."
— Lifehouse, All In
~*~*~*~

"I'm so glad I've already been accepted to MDU," I groaned as I finally exited the hell disguised as a university classroom, "I totally flunked all of my exams." Hiding my face in Ravens hair, I moaned some more.

She giggled, "Oh little brat, you have luck on your side all right." Raven suddenly moved her fist against my head, giving me a hard noogie. "Now we can celebrate, right? I know it's only Wednesday-"

"Crap!" I stood up straight from Ravens grasp, patting myself down desperately. "What time is it?" I hissed, wanting gravely to bang my head against a brick wall. "I completely forgot! I have to sign that contract at two today!"

Raven pulled my arm towards the parking lot, not wasting anytime, "It's one now, you should get on the road." She mercilessly pushed me into the drivers seat of her purple jeep, shutting the door and saluting me. "Come back with even a scratch and I will kill you."

Swallowing nervously at her very real threat, I drove out of the campus, realizing it would be one of the last times for me to ever do it. Now to go sell my soul to the devil. I hoped there was no ten year warranty on it. Act now, think later.

"Well, Gracie. There's no turning back now."

~*~*~*~

"Crap, Raven." I breathed into the cell, five minutes away from Saint Damon's University, "That was torture. I have never sat so long in one day --first the examinations and then that horribly complicated contract." I watched the sky darken with a groan.

"But you did it? It's over?" Raven asked, yawning on the other end.

"Yeah." I sighed, "but if I slip that I'm the writer to anyone I get like fifty hundred years of my afterlife sent to the fiery pits of hell. So that's fun." Chuckling, I drove in, too tired to notice anything...off. Or red. Or truck-y.

"Um, Gracie..." Raven suddenly said slowly, "you're almost here right?" Her voice was abnormally quiet.

I frowned, shutting off the engine and hopping out of the jeep, "Entering the building now. Why?" I told her, stepping into the air-conditioned building before taking the steps two at a time.

"Just...prepare yourself emotionally." She squeaked, "The odds are still broken."

My blood ran cold in my skin. I knew what that meant. My heart began to pound until it was all I could hear; all I could think. Each beat whispering his name louder and louder as it woke up every feeling I had hid deep inside of me. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Each whisper hurting more than the last. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan. Ethan.

Why?

My feet numbly moved me up the rest of the stairs to my floor. My door was just right there. We were just a thin door apart from each other. I wondered if he could feel it from the other side?

Why was he here?

My hand turned the knob, taking a deep breath before pushing the door in. At once, my eyes took in the tall dark figure before me. His tensed back turned to me as his fists clenched tightly until they were practically white.

I was so conflicted. I wanted to take his hands into mine and smooth them out. Kiss each finger until they weren't digging into the skin of his palm and then kiss that too. Make whatever was hurting him better. I just wanted to make him better.

But I also wanted to shut the door and run. My heart was aching and I didn't know what to do.

He turned first, his dark blueblueblue eyes just as conflicted as mine probably were. His jaw clenched just as hard as his fists. I wanted to kiss it smooth too. His eyes fell down me, taking me into his memory. Something sparked in them, taking away that conflict like a switch had been flipped.

"Gracie," he breathed, like releasing a breath he had been holding for too long.

"Eth-"

Before his name was out of my lips, Ethan's lips were on them first. His hands grasped my face desperately, his lips consumed all that I was. My hands held onto his arms, pulling him closer to me as he devoured every inch of me.

"I want you. I just want you." He said between mind-altering kisses. "I need you, Gracie." His hands on my face brought me closer. "I can't lose you."

I was drowning. My lips responded to his, my body responded to his, even my thoughts responded to his words. They screamed bloody murder. 'I want you and I need you too.' Because, God, I did.

"I'm in this, Gracie," he whispered into my ear, "I'm yours. I was never not yours." He murmured, "We're meant to be together. I won't push that away anymore." Every word was perfect and dazzling and made my entire body tremble. "I've known since I saw that damn letter you wrote about us. I came back for you." He confessed, kissing me with everything he had to offer, "Don't leave me, Gracie. Not again."

Everything in me screamed to say something back. But I couldn't.

"Gracie, I've completely fallen for-"

"I'm leaving, Ethan." I heard myself saying. "I won't choose you over my future." I shook my head, everything inside of me completely aching in protest. "I can't do that. I can't let you stop me." I backed away, my eyes already blurred so much by my tears that I couldn't see his face properly.

But I still saw that hurt. That intense hurt. I saw it because I had seen it before. It was burned into my memory and I knew he was wearing it now.

"God, Ethan." I cried, "Even if I do want to. I just signed it. It's done. I'm gone already." My entire body shook, "You were too late."

There was silence. My cries the only thing keeping it from being deafening.

His hands cupped my face softly, leaning his forehead on mine defeatedly. "I'm sorry I wasn't sooner." His voice was so sad and exhausted it broke me all over again, "But I also can't wait for you anymore." He told me before kissing my forehead and walking away, leaving me to fall to the floor as each piece of me came apart and shattered into indistinguishable shards.