When It Mattered ✔️

T W E N T Y - O N E

Ethan has the stage once more! Get it all out Ethan. This might just be your last chance to tell us what's happening in your head....
T W E N T Y - O N E
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"I guess I just got lost, Bein' someone else.
I tried to kill the pain, Nothin ever helped
I left myself behind, Somewhere along the way"
— 3 Doors Down, Let Me Be Myself
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(Ethan's POV)

I took a deep breathe. I never thought that light blue door would be intimidating, but here I was, literally shaking in my boots. I turned the knob.

"Mom?" I called out into the empty hallway, poking my head through the door, "It's Ethan --kid number two. I'm home and I have some news."

"Ethan!" I heard a high-pitched squeal before a tiny brunette with short legs came barrelling towards me.

I laughed, picking up the six-year-old and throwing her up into the air, "Hey, little monster!" I hugged her tightly. I forgot just how badly I missed my younger siblings. "Where's Ash, Annie?"

"He's out with his girlfriend!" She giggled as I carried her into the kitchen where I knew mom would be.

"Girlfriend? Man, isn't he like ten?" I grumbled, placing her down as I crept up behind my mother -who had headphones in- and wrapped my arms around her.

"Ethan!" She shouted in surprise as she spun around, covered head to toe in white flour.

Wincing from the loudness, I took her earphones out and smiled. "Hey mom, I'm home."

She smiled brightly and at once pulled me into her arms and squeezed the life out of me. "Oh, my handsome boy! I missed you. Why haven't you called? Have you been eating well? You look a little skinny... What are they feeding you in that school..." She ranted, keeping her arms tightly around me as I chuckled lightly.

She let me go finally as Annie threatened to jump from the counter, telling me I'd better catch her. Quickly catching the monkey, I swung her up to my back as I shook my head in amusement. I loved my family. They were just a little crazy sometimes.

"I have some news," I forced out of my mouth. It was like acid in my gut.

My mother studied me, her eyes narrowing slightly, "Did you get Diana pregnant?" She looked about ready to sit me down and teach me all about being a man and the importance of taking care of the family I created.

I smiled, shaking my head, "Not yet, ma." I joked sourly as she cocked her head to the side. Annie slid down my back, getting bored as I scratched the back of my neck nervously. "Uh, well. I...I proposed to her." I spat out finally, the words like thick glue in my mouth.

"Oh my," my mother breathed with a blank expression. She blinked and smiled warmly, "She is a beautiful girl. I'm happy for you, Ethan. She will be welcomed into this family with opened arms." She promised before throwing her arms around me tightly, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy, baby."

I closed my eyes, burying my face into her golden hair, "Thanks." I squeezed her, "but that's not all."

She pulled away and watched me again with confusion. With a sigh she began walking to the living room, "I better sit I think." She shook her head amusedly, "there's only so much surprise a mother can handle." Her hand pushed me down to the sturdy table in front of the chair as she sat in it.

I chuckled despite the sick spinning in my stomach. "Well, you know Di." I sighed, vividly imagining her and her need to control and plan things right down to the dots on the i's and lines on the t's. "We kept the engagement a secret for the last four months," I grimaced, "we just wanted to be sure, you know? With everything. Make sure this is what we really wanted." And by 'we' I meant her of course. I was just along for the ride. But that was what you'd do for the ones you loved, right? Sacrifice some things.

My mother frowned suspiciously, "And it's what you guys want? What you want?" Her blue eyes once again studied me closely.

I nodded, "Yeah. Two months ago we talked it over and we agreed this was what we wanted." My hand grasped hers comfortingly, "Since Di isn't close with her family, we've decided we'd move here after the wedding. She wants to start a family right away... I mean, you knew that. She's always wanted to be a mom."

And I loved that about her. I sometimes wished that side would be more patient, but it was what she wanted and who was I to tell her to wait for something she had her heart set on? I could have given it to her. I could have made her dreams come true.

My mom slowly nodded, "And you want to be a father? You're ready for that type of responsibility?" She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look.

I shook my head with a determined frown, "I love her. If this is what I have to give up, I can do it. I want to be with her. She's my future." I mumbled, Gracie popping into my head as I did. I closed my eyes, "The wedding is set for December 20th. She wanted a holiday themed wedding. It's already been booked in the towns church."

I heard the sharp inhale from my mother. "Ethan..." She trailed off, grabbing my hand. "If this is really what you want for your future... Then I will support it." She whispered quietly. "But Ethan, please thin-" She was cut off as the house-line rang, startling the quiet that had grown to deafness. Sighing, she stood up, "It might be Ashton. He's always getting himself into trouble with that girl --much like you and Gracie did. Teenagers, I swear..." She muttered on.

My lips curved into a smile, remembering Gracie's and my many misdemeanours. Our poor parents had gotten quite a few phone calls in those days from angry neighbours and officers alike. Seemed like Ash was continuing our tradition. Not ten anymore, were you little bro?

"Oh Trisha! That's wonderful news! Give Gracie my best won't you?" I heard my mother gasp as my ears perked up at her name.

What was Gracie's mother calling for? Did something happen to Gracie? My feet absentmindedly drew me closer into the kitchen where mom was leaning on the counter, holding the phone in her hand. I could feel my heart speed up in my chest. Clearly Gracie was okay, but what was happening?

My mother caught my eye knowingly, "And Patricia, feel free to stop by anytime. I know how hard it can be knowing a child is so far away from you. But Gracie will be just fine. That girl is stronger than most."

Far away? But she was just two hours away. I could feel my facial expression turn confused as I sat down on the stool on the other side of the counter my mother was on.

"You and that husband of yours have done a wonderful job. That girl is going places, I could tell the moment my smart boy brought her home to meet me. Tell Gracie I wish her safe travels. You take care, dear!" My mother smiled brightly before hanging up with a chuckle. "I knew that girl would get out of this small town."

I bit my lip, unable to hold back the burning question that was controlling my every move. "What's happening with her? With Gracie! What's happening with my- I mean Gracie. What's happening with Gracie?" I couldn't even speak anymore. I could feel it. Like I was about to lose her forever. There was nothing I could hold onto to stop it. She was just floating away like a balloon and I could do nothing but watch. I wanted to scream like a child. I wanted that damn balloon back.

My mothers blue eyes shimmered mischievously, "She's been accepted to a university across the country and that brave little thing is going."

I couldn't breathe. There she went; up into the clouds. "When?" My voice was so low it was barely audible.

"At the end of the break for the next semester."

I had to get her back. I wouldn't let her disappear.