When It Mattered ✔️

N I N E T E E N

Okay I've been trying to find a way to keep this story going while still in Gracie's POV... But I think I need to show you Ethan's POV. I'm not sure if I'll keep doing this or if this will be a one time thing.. Nonetheless enjoy :)
N I N E T E E N
~*~*~*~
"And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and it's effortless."

"With eight seconds left in overtime, she's on your mind.
Everyone knows, she's on your mind."
— The Fray, Over My Head (Cable Car)
~*~*~*~

(Ethan's POV)

"I miss you, beautiful." I exhaled frustratedly into the phone to Diana. Everything was shit. I just wished she was here making it all go away.

F*ck. I just didn't know anymore. She just had to come see me. I was going crazy without her.

"I miss you too, Ethan." She mumbled back, her concentration elsewhere.

I could picture her perfectly; her long brown hair hung over one shoulder as she held her many books in her lap, sitting cross legged on our bed back at home. Why did I ever leave her?

"Hey, E?" Her soft voice interrupted my thoughts, "I can't wait." I could hear her smile. The very smile that could make me do anything she pleased. Even if I didn't particularly want to do it. She was tricky like that and used it whenever she wanted something I didn't.

"I know, babe. Me either." I said the words, but even to me they sounded unconvinced.

"Are you alright?" She noticed the unsure note in my voice, "Why don't you come back home? We can go down later and look together." Diana suggested, and I wanted to take her up on the offer. I did. At least I wanted to want to.

Running my hand over my head, I closed my eyes, "You know my mom," I lied, "she'll never let me leave now. She's too excited." Actually, I haven't even told her the news yet. She still thinks I'm at university.

"I wish you would give me her number," Diana whined, "I just want to thank her for everything she's done for us this month."

"If I did that she'd never stop calling," I rolled my eyes with a smile playing on my lips, at least that part wasn't a lie. I hated lying to Di, it felt like a punch to the gut every single time I had during that month.

Carters phone buzzed loudly on the table as I picked it up to shut it off. My heart stopped in my chest and every thought was suddenly gone when my eyes caught the caller ID.

'Blonde Yoda's Friend'

"Uh, I have to go, Di." I hung up my phone absentmindedly, pressing talk automatically on Carters. "Gracie?" My heart was already in my throat as her name slipped off my lips like it had fallen out completely without my control.

Could she have forgiven me? Maybe she wanted to talk? God, I wished she wanted to talk. It hurt how much I missed talking to her. And seeing her. Those big hazel eyes watching me, always seeming to get lost for a little too long. That red blush that covered her beautiful face. It was intoxicating watching her get lost.

"Are you going back home this weekend?" Her sharp voice was like a whip back to reality.

She didn't forgive me. Of course she didn't.

"No, why-"

"Just don't."

Then she was gone again. And I realized how f*cking much I wanted her back. I fell back into the couch, starring up at the tall white ceiling, silently cursing myself. She was right; I hurt her. I watched her lose all of those walls one by one, then I just... F*cked her over. I was an asshole. But I didn't know I was doing it. I just wanted to be with her. I just needed to be with her.

Gracie was everything. The way her tiniest of laughs would light up her whole face and her huge eyes literally sparkled like diamonds; she just dazzled me. Watching her think was like reading the most interesting book. Her expressions were so telling. She couldn't keep a secret even if her life depended on it. Not from me anyways.

But she was my past. Diana was my future. Why couldn't I get that through my head? Gracie would never be mine again. She would never be my everything again. She was better off with that Brodie guy. I bet he treated her how she deserved to be treated --not like a dirty little secret. We already tried it. It didn't work. We just weren't meant to be.

"Was that Di on the phone?" Carter came down the loft steps, his hair dripping wet with soap suds and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. His brown eyes were wide as he searched my hands for my phone.

I chuckled. Diana and Carter were childhood best friends and he acted like an over protective brother when it came to her. "Sorry, you just missed her. If I'd have known you were going to leap out of the shower and come barrelling down here like a maniac, I would have stayed on." I threw him his phone, "You can still catch her before her next class, if you call now."

He bit his lip, catching the cell in his hand, "I don't want to...bother her." He mumbled dejectedly. "She has that test today. I bet she's studying really hard."

"Oh yeah, shit. I forget to wish her good luck." I threw him a grateful look, "thanks for reminding me, bud."

I quickly shot her a good luck text, thankful for being best friends with the guy that looked after her like his own sister. I'm sure Di and I would never have lasted this long without Carter helping me out with all of her wants and needs. He was a good friend.

"Yep. That's what I'm here for," he rolled his eyes, starting back up the steps to finish washing his hair. He stopped just at the top, "Are you alright?"

I knew right away by the disapproving tone in his voice that he meant Gracie. Truth be told, I wasn't sure. I didn't think I was even close to okay about it. The way it hurt to breathe mere thinking about how much pain I caused her... It was like every wound from her had opened again.

But I knew I needed to be. Okay, that is.

"Yeah, bud. I'm excellent. Got the girl I love and a future mapped out with her to the tee." I paused, "what more could a guy want?"