When It Mattered ✔️

E I G H T E E N

E I G H T E E N
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"Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost."
― Erol Ozan
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So, I'm trying this new thing called 'tell the truth'. It's a pretty foreign concept these days, but let me show you an example.

I haven't been honest with you guys. Remember that boy I told you was just in my past and nothing else? Well he came back. It was sudden and totally unpredictable... I really thought he was gone for good. But life's funny like that, you know? Just when you think you can safely talk about something, they show up. It's like when you're trying to get over a boy and when you're finally moving on, they pop right back up, laughing at you like, "Oh no, sweetie. I'm not done breaking your heart yet."

So yeah, that happened to me. And it was a complete whirlwind. I was so conflicted. That one guy that used to be my everything was right there, staring back at me with those same blueblueblue eyes I loved to love so much. Man, every old feeling was just sitting there like, "didn't think you'd see us again, did you?" So we fought and made up and then fought again and made up again. But, repeat that about ten times. Each time I could feel my will to stay away from him weakening. Finally... I just needed him. I finally understood everything. It was clear and I finally knew. Him and I, we were supposed to be together. We couldn't give up one another. We had broken every odd in the universe by that point. It was just so obvious.

At least. It was for me.

But again. Life's funny like that. When you finally think you know something... You turn out to be completely wrong. He lied to me since the very beginning. Here I was, ready to finally give in to what I wanted, and it was all for nothing. Every time I couldn't quit him. Every flutter in my heart. Every touch that brought me to my knees. Every fight that made me cry from how much I wanted him. It was all just pointless. He watched me fall... No, he pushed me, all the while knowing he wouldn't be at the bottom to catch me.

And now I hate him so much I can't breathe. And yet miss him so much I can't think of anything else.

That's why I've decided to finally tell the truth. No matter what it is, I won't be lying. It just hurts people in the end. If you really care for someone, you won't cause them pain. So just tell them the truth before it gets too painful, will you? Save them from the heartache. Please.

I hope you read this and think of me,
F*** Your Blue Eyes

P.s. It hurts when I think of that kiss, you jerk. It made me believe for one perfect second that we would be okay... Did you even think about my feelings? Did you even care?

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"Why won't you tell me," Brodie whined as he sat on the edge of my bed, pulling me into him as I tried to get dressed for class.

I sighed, letting him fuss over me as I threw my hair into an elastic. "Because it doesn't have anything to do with us, Brodie." I answered him for the millionth time since the night I broke down in his arms, "I just needed you. Can't you just drop it?"

He groaned in irritation, "He didn't...hurt you, did he?" He growled dangerously.

I turned in his arms, putting mine around his neck, "No." I leaned down and kissed his lips softly. "Please, let it go. I need you to. Please." He scowled and I quickly pressed my lips onto his again before he could mutter a word. He brought me deeper into the kiss, his hands grasping for me. "I have class," I moaned softly while he successfully pinned me down to the bed finally, his lips hungrily kissing every inch of me.