Sorry For the Sin

Chapter Two

Patsy rushed in from district rounds and went to find Delia, she needed to feel safe again, she felt so lost and couldn't even tell Trixie the truth because the truth was a sin and Trixie seemed to be very disapproving last night. Because Patsy just wanted to show her love off to people but last night just showed her that she would never be able to do that, she is never going to be able to hold Delia's hand or kiss her in public, she didn't even want that she just didn't want to have to go to a little club in the middle of know where to dance with the person she loved. She was so very much in love yet no one was allowed to know. No one could know how happy she was because her happiness would cost her, her job and her home and possibly even her freedom.

After being unable to find Delia she confided to her own room hoping she would be able to gather up her through and avoid tears. Trixie knew how to keep a poker face all those years gambling with sweats against Jenny were about to pay off after all. So long as she appeared nonchalant, with no pinkness in her cheeks to betray her. No tears in her eye she needed to forget that last night had ever happened because it was a sin, if her hunch was correct then her best friend was a sinner. Patsy couldn't be a sinner!

As patsy heard the bedroom door go, she watched Trixie enter without turning her head, trying to forget her existence.

"Delia rang to say she was stuck at the London and would have to cancel the pictures today" Trixie said trying to hide the shaking in her voice, poker hadn't prepared her for this. Nothing had prepared her for this. Fear travelled in Patsy's veins but with the help of all her focus it never made it into her facial expression. Her complexion remained pale and her eyes as steady as if she was shopping for shoes.

"Thanks for letting me know" Patsy said looking her from her magazine. Trying to keep the tears from her eyes.

Trixie let out a large sigh as if she was about to speak but quickly changed her mind, thinking better of making another comment

"I'm rather glad she canceled, I think Nurse Crain put me on call" Patsy kept the calmness in her voice the best he could. She wanted to cry and tell Trixie the truth but she knew the truth would break everything and hurt everyone she cared about including Delia, they would both lose their jobs and their housing. While some days Patsy felt like they would be okay if everything went wrong she didn't want to chance it - without their jobs and the house they had nothing She couldn't put Delia though that.

"Well I have Art History tonight" Trixie stated as if just too keep the incredibly uncomfortable situation going. Both the girls knew that wasn't in fact the case but Patsy wasn't going to question in, at least not now.

"Well do have fun" Patsy replied lighting a cigarette and angling herself towards the ashtray meaning she had to angle her self towards Trixie. Trixie gave a fake smile, showing her white teeth before walking out the room in which they shared.

As Trixie shut the door Patsy sighed a long deep sign, and tried her hardest to shake off the pain and guilt she was hiding inside. Patsy must have dozed off into a deep sleep but woke to the sound of Delia's soft welsh voice "I was worried that you missed dinner" Delia said "I snuck you a slice of cake before Monica Joan gets her hands on it" Delia said as she gestured to the plate sat on Patsy's side table "I guessed you were just resting your eyes" Her soft welsh voice made Patsy feel instantly safe again.

"You didn't have to Delia" Patsy sighed, straightening herself out and sitting up in her bed. Delia smiled a long slow smile because even though there were nuns praying near by this was a small glimpse of the life they could have had before the accident. In Delia's eyes no one knew any wiser, in her eyes they were still able to be themselves in the safety of Patsy's room when Trixie was out. As Delia perched on Trixie's bed, Patsy grinned at the small bunch of flower Delia had put next to the slice of cake; they were a red/orange and clashed perfectly with Patsy's hair.

"Yes, I did have to do this because I love you" Delia said sweetly. Patsy knew she had to tell her about the events that occurred in the early hours of the morning but she wanted to live in the little bubble for a little longer, pretending everything was fine and that they were safe.

"The Nuns were saying Trixie has been in a mood all day?" Delia questioned, trying to make casual convocation not realizing that her and Patsy were the reason for Trixie's sudden change of behavior. Patsy led her nearly finished cigarette on the side of the ashtray.

"She knows" Patsy said calmly, trying to act like nothing out the ordinary was spoken.

"You told her!" Delia said firmly, in shock that her girlfriend could put their whole lives in ruins.

"No, she asked me and I denied it deels. I really did." Patsy could find the words to say anything else, and she didn't want to cry because she had been strong about this for far too long, she had gone through so much worse then this. Yet that one early morning convocation had broken her down. Made her feel like she had no right to love Delia and she did love her more than anything.

"Then what's the problems pats. She asked you, you denied it. There's nothing more than that you can do cariad" Delia had moved next to patsy and patsy lay her head on Delia shoulder, it kept her safe. This secret that was so wrong kept her safe.

The convocation paused for a few moments as they both gathered their thoughts. Delia gathered up the dishes from the cake. Patsy sat up in bed a little straight and caught her lips on Delia's. A soft moan left Delia's mouth.

"My room, cards" Delia said laughing to herself inan attempt to keep Patsy's mood up. And it was apparently working. Patsy wasjust hopping no unexpected mothers went into labor tonight