Sorry For the Sin

Chapter Three

For the first time ever luck and pregnancies were on Patsy's side, with no phone calls their night turned out pretty good, while it was no secret date night to the cinema or anything fancy. They could just sit their and enjoy each others company in a more than just friend way. They could forget all the outside world pressures of having to get married to a man they could just picture their life together, the forbidden life. The convocation with Trixie still stayed firmly in the forefront of Patsy's mind, with every kiss between her and Delia made the realization of what she was clearer. She tried to forget it, she really did but she just couldn't.

"Pats what's wrong" Delia couldn't pretend nothing was wrong any longer, it was the only really night they both had together in days, and even they Patsy was on call, she didn't want to waste there little free time but she knew something was wrong.

"Its Trixie" Patsy responded now staring into space. Trying to seem like she wasn't lost in the darkest scariest part of her mind.

"Cariad, we have been through this, she had no proof just a suspicion and we all know Trixie is full of them. "

"I guess your right" Was all Patsy could respond. She knew Delia was right but knowing something and admitting it was something completely different.

Patsy made the same trip back to her room as she had done the previous night, only slightly earlier. Aiming to slip down the corridor just before midnight, just before Trixie got home so she wouldn't have to explain and everything would seem perfectly normal. As she got closer to her room she heard the one song tha5t made her heart skip a beat -  "I love how you love me". The record that was playing when they first went to the gateways club. That mean Trixie was home earlier than expected. Patsy tried to calm her nerves took a long heavy breath before stepping into her room.

"Evening" Patsy, said, trying to act like nothing was wrong

"I know, Patsy and you can keep denying in but nothing is going to make me believe any differently" Patsy didn't know how to respond she didn't know weather that meant Trixie was going to tell the world or that she was okay with it.

Patsy couldn't even respond and that just made everything clearer for Trixie, she wanted to be okay with it. She really did. She had always kind of figured but she just couldn't process it. She tried. As patsy lay down for bed. Trixie lit enough cigarette and said "I want to be okay with it Pats, I so very much do. But for some reason I'm not and I find it all rather unsettling"

No other sound way made for what felt like years then Patsy turned around under her blanket and faced Trixie who was still sat up smoking the last few drags of her cigarettes.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" Her voice was weak and cloaked in fear. The fear sat on Patsy like a pillow over her mouth and nose. Trixie finished her cigarette and put it in the ass dray next to the flowers Patsy received earlier. She didn't make a sound simply walked out the door, just return moment later with Delia who looked tired and confused. Patsy smiled at Delia's bed hair and the Welsh woman's uncertain look that was plastered across her face.

"Hello Pats" Delia said smiling but trying not to show too much joy.

"Patsy sit up, Delia sit next to her. We need to talk" Trixie's voice was firm but shaken a little

"Trixie what ever is wrong?" Delia asked, her smile had been replaced with real concern for her friend.

"You need to know, that I'm not going to tell anyone." Trixie said sitting down on her bed doing everything in her power not to reach for the bottle of gin that was placed out of her view next to Patsy's bed. Patsy smiled a little, the first smile that crept across her face all day.

"But I'm not going to defend your actions. Nor am I okay with it" Her voice started to tear up as Patsy placed her hand on Delia's Knee for support

"I want to be okay with it, I really do but I cant" She kept talking as if she was trying to justify herself. She didn't know why she needed to. Every cell her brain told her it was a sin. Told her that it wasn't right but every other part of her body wanted to congratulate them and help them get their nights off to match. She was stuck between religion and her best friend being happy.

"Now I'm going to turn my back go to the bathroom, so you can say goodnight and then I'm going to pretend this never happens .I'm sorry Patsy" With that Trixie picked up her wash bag and made her way out the room.

Delia smiled and kissed Patsy with no fear anymore.

"I'm sorry, Deels" Patsy said, trying to say sorry for blowing the lid on them to Trixie. Delia didn't understand what Patsy was apologizing for. No one was hurt and no one was going to lose his or her job – not yet anyways.