Letters To You

nineteen

Dear You,

What if our story doesn't play out how we think it will? What if can't talk to each other anymore and we grow apart? Then what?

Everything has been so stressful lately.

My mom says that she knows we wont still be in this house in 4 to 6 months. She says she knows we are going to move and I'm freaking out.

I can't move. I can't move away from my two best friends and my other friends that I have made. I can't move away from the small life I've made so far that has made me beyond happy. I just can't.

I already have depression and it's so hard to do such simple things like eat and if we move I know I will break.

yes, yes I've told my mom all this, but do you know what her reply is? 'I'm praying about it and what the lord wants for us is what will happen.'. Now I have faith in him and I believe in him and I trust in him that he will do what is best for us, but why, for once, can't we do what will make me happy?

I finally have something that I love and something that I would literally die without and it's slowly slipping away from me.

'You'll visit your friends, I promise.' she says, but what if my friends aren't my friends anymore?

What if everyone moves on to bigger and better? Because let's face it, I'm obviously not the best, so with me gone what's stopping everyone from moving on? Nothing. That's what's stopping everyone, nothing.

I don't want to move and I feel everything changing around me and I'm trying to stop it but I can't and I feel like I'm drowning and slowly slipping deeper into a depression.

I just want everything to stay the same, but it won't and I'm dying inside because of that.

I don't want to leave the only place I have actually felt at home at. I've moved around so much and I just want to stay here now. The only place I've felt is home.

-Me.