To the stranger at the mall,
What you did today really was incredible and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
More than likely you viewed it as just doing you job but it meant so much to me. Today was one of those rare days where my impulse control disorders seem to disappear and who I am as person shines through.
Your attitude was genuine and pleasant. You brought a range of different garments in various colors for me to try on. But it was more than just helping me that made my day. When I asked for your opinion on whatever I put on, you were incredibly nice, oblivious to the fact that my skin was scarred and scabbed.
I'm living with two conditions called dermatillomania and trichotillomania. They're impulse control disorders and cause me to pick at my skin and pull my hair without control. They've taken over my life and have damaged my body beyond repair. Everyday I wake up and see the scars of yesterday, reminding me that I did that to myself. Although it was beyond my control, what I've done cannot be undone.
Most people look at me in disgust when they see chunks dug out of my skin and scabs covering my body. Disgust and pity. That's what they look at me with and.. I can't explain what that does to a person.
But you.. You smiled and gave your opinions and picked out things for me to try on. You didn't scowl at me. You treated me as if I was a person and that's all I really want.
Even when all my scars, scabs and red bumpy skin was visible, I was no longer my mental illnesses. I was me. I was a person. With a smile on my face.
It was a very rare day and it was truly amazing.
So to the stranger at the mall... Thank you for seeing me as a human and not my mental illnesses.
