To the friends I had in public school,
To be brutally fucking honest, you guys only cared because we saw each other five days a week.
We were sisters, all six of us. There wasn't one thing that we didn't do together. Hell, we had set times to go to the bathroom so we wouldn't be alone.
I never had friends like that before you guys. I didn't bother getting close to people because I didn't want to deal with the pain of them leaving. But it was different with all of you.
Or at least I thought it was. We made promises that we'd always stay together. I guess I forgot that promises shouldn't be made when you're happy.
I left public school around the same time all of you turned against me. You believed lies when you knew damn well what the truth was. How do you flip a switch like that? How could you be my best friends, dancing through the hallways and laughing until we can't breath and then turn? How could throw somebody away like that? How could you throw me away like that?..
I got messages from a couple of you, saying you missed me and you wanted to get together. You asked why I said no. You know why I said no.
You only come around when something changes. I cut my hair, somebody reached out. I had surgery, somebody reached out. My mother is pregnant, somebody reached out.
You weren't there when I could barely stand the thought of myself. You weren't there when I cried myself to sleep every night. You weren't there when I begged for you to come back because I couldn't handle it all by myself.
I dealt with it all on my own. You didn't show up until it was convenient for you. So no, I don't want you in my life anymore. I don't want somebody who cares only when they want to. I'd rather be all by myself than be friends with somebody like that.
I thought you guys were different. You promised me we'd keep in touch after I left. I know where I sit with you guys now.
You aren't different. You're just like every one else. You replaced me. You threw me away. I bet it was easy too.
Don't even bother getting pissed off at me because I don't want to hang out. Don't get pissed off at me because I said no. It's not like you care anyways.
So to the friends I had in public school... I don't like fake people. Don't come around because I need surgery again. Don't come around on my sixteenth birthday. Don't come around when Alison is born. You would have been here through all of it if you really cared. Do not pretend to care because my life is changing.
