State of Grace (Complete)

Divided from the boys

In early summer, Mommy gets a part-time job at the local library, and she decides that sending me away to camp is the best way for me to spend my time. She wants me to 'learn independence' and 'make new friends.' Maggie tells me that Mommy just wants me to play with more girls instead of hanging around with boys all the time. She watches me on days when Mommy works, and in two weeks I am going away.

"But what's wrong with playing with your brothers?"

"Nothing really, but it's always nice to have friends that are girls, too."

"But they're my best friends."

"I know they are, Gracie, but things change when you get older. Maybe your mom is just trying to protect you." I take what she says to heart and try to think of things that Mommy tries to protect me from. The only thing I come up with is the water. I need to learn how to swim, and I know just how to do it.

"I'm scared, Chris," I say from the swings as we watch Ian hanging upside-down from the climber.

"Why?"

"I'm going to be away from home and I don't know how to swim. What if I'm the only one?" I say pointedly. "I don't want to look like a baby in front of the other girls."

"We'll teach you," Chris says with a shrug. "Daddy taught us in the pool, it can't be that hard."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, right Ian?"

"Yep," he says, flipping on to his feet. "When do we start?"

Every day Mommy works, we spend time in the pool. For as much as Chris is usually the more patient twin, Ian is the better teacher, always challenging me. Both of them are careful to make sure I am safe, staying by my side and grabbing me when I look like I need help. Maggie keeps an eye on us from the loungers while she talks on her phone, just in case.

"Look at me!" I yell as I swim across the pool, doggie-paddling. "I'm doing it!"

"I knew you could!" Ian shouts his support, arms raised.

"Way to go!" Chris cheers.

By the end of the two weeks and six lessons I am ready to go to camp. I can swim under water and jump in the deep end, as well as tread water. We play games of Marco Polo, and it's fantastic, the water swishing around me as I float and kick. As far as I'm concerned, the twins are amazing, but it's bittersweet because I'm going to be gone for two whole weeks. By the time I get home, they will already be away for their camping trip with their dad. Chris and Ian promise to be back in time for my birthday, though.

Both of them see me off while Mommy and Daddy pack the car with my suitcases.

"We'll miss you, Gracie," Chris tells me, then he and Ian pull me into a group hug.

"We'll leave you a present for when you get back," Ian whispers softly in my ear, "start at the treehouse."

I break free from their embrace and climb into the car, buckling up. "I'll bring you presents," I call and wave as we roll down the driveway.

The boys wave back, and I watch until I can't see them any more.

Our time without Grace when we were young was time without our center. She was the one that was the peacemaker, keeping us from fighting, and making us better. Those two weeks were spent either planning a surprise for Grace or fighting each other. My mom was too happy to ship us off with Dad.

Camp is great. After Mommy and Daddy decided I was going, they chose a horseback riding camp because I still liked ponies, even though I stopped asking for one a few years ago. They drive me for a few hours south and drop me off amidst a pile of girls ranging in age from seven to ten at the head office building. There is a paddock with a bunch of horses running around and some other buildings off to the side. Our luggage is loaded onto a flatbed attached to the back of a tractor, and we follow it over to a collection of buildings centred around a common area with benches and a firepit.