State of Grace (Complete)

Going, going, gone

Ch. 16

THIRTEEN GRADE EIGHT

Shortly after school ends Daddy bounds into the house like a puppy, all gangly and panting, "Guess what, Buttercup?"

Mommy and I look up, one of us smiling and the other bitter. "What Daddy?"

"My research proposal has been accepted! I've got funding! We've got funding!"

I don't know what the funding is for, but I know I should be happy for him, so I respond, "That's great, Daddy! I'm so thrilled for you!"

"No, Cupcake, for us, this effects us all!" he contains himself into his chair, barely. "We're going to Europe! For a year! Imagine all the fantastic things we can see and experience!"

"What about Mommy's job? And school? And my friends?" I am shocked and the exuberance has drained from me, replaced by trepidation and something darker.

"Mommy's job is part-time at the library, it will be here when we get back. Mommy and I can homeschool you, plus think of all the experiential learning you'll get seeing all the great historic sights across the continent. As for your friends, well, Honey, the twins are going to high school this year, you're going to be separated from them anyway," Daddy explains away all my worries, like they are completely trivial, and I realize that there is no discussion in this discussion, not on my part or Mommy's. We are not our own people, we are Daddy's to control.

"I told you she wasn't going to be happy," Mommy's voice cuts through the silence.

"Oh, she'll love it, you'll see." Daddy counters.

"When are we leaving?" I ask quietly, resigned.

"Right after your birthday, Sweetness." Daddy takes my resignation as acceptance and is smiling again.

"What are you going to do?" Chris asks as we all sit in the treehouse.

"I don't know, it's not like I can refuse to go."

"Sure you can," Ian offers. "You could stay with us."

"If only it was that easy. You know my parents won't go for that. They're angry enough that I spend so much time over here."

"But Mom and Steve wouldn't mind, Ian and I can share a room again, you can take my room!" Chris is expanding on Ian's suggestion.

"I can try, guys, but I know it's not going to work. I think we should face it, I'm going September first whether I like it or not."

"You're not even going to fight? To try to keep us all together?" I can see the hurt and anger building in Ian's eyes.

"Of course I am Ian," I put my hand on his knee, trying to drain away his fury, "but I don't think any of us should count on them listening."

"We should go in and ask mom first," Chris declares, "that way you have a plan in place, in case they agree."

"Okay," I agree with false positivity, anything to keep Ian from being upset. I can't bear to hurt him. We need each other. It's like Maggie said, Chris can handle things, deal with emotion, but Ian can't. He is a bundle of hurt and raw ends, sparking and burning.

Andrea is not on board with our plan, "Guys, it's a nice idea, but there is no way Grace's parents will want to be away from her for a year."

"You know that's not true, her dad's never around and her mom hates her," Ian's words sting, but they feel like truth to me.

"Now Ian, you know that's not nice. Her dad does long hours of research and her mom loves her very much."

"But mom, it's a whole year." Chris argues.