State of Grace (Complete)

The Christmas After

Ch 35

The next day, I am back at school with a closely cropped boy cut and a steely resolve. I am not going to make myself a victim. I spoke with Dr. Minders for two hours yesterday, Ian waiting for me the whole time, then we went to the salon. I am going to succeed despite what happened to me. When I got home, my mom actually cried when she saw me. It turns out that she's been going to counselling of her own and has started on anti-depressants. We talked, actually talked, and it was good. I know I'm still not better, by any stretch, but I'll be damned if I'm giving up.

"Grace, that hair is an interesting statement." Kyle gives me a funny look, "Now you're an angel undercover. Like a covert angel, the James Bond of angels."

I know Kyle is trying to make me feel better, so I laugh, "Thanks Kyle, I think covert angels are like Charlie's Angels or something, but I know it's not great."

"No, Grace, it is, mostly because it's not my fault this time." And we both laugh.

There are whisperings in the hall, but I ignore it. People thought I was reserved before, but they were wrong. I was shy. Now I'm just pissed, but it's a good angry because I use it to fuel my need to succeed. I plow through course material like the honours student I was, and Mrs. Simpson is really pleased by my progress.

"Mr. Karst, I think I need to straighten out my schedule for second semester." I inform him a week before Christmas Break.

"Grace, you're looking a lot better," he says, smiling. "No phalanx of guys today?"

"No, I've given the guards the slip," I joke. "I have to be able to walk around for myself. It's not fair for them to distract from their schooling. After all Chris, Ian and Kyle are graduating this year, and Ian needs all the time in class he can get." Chad is graduating, too, so next year at least I won't have to worry about running into him.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. The court date isn't until the late spring, so ask me how I'm doing then."

"What would you like to fix on your schedule?" Mr. Karst and I get down to business. I want to make sure I have math in class next semester rather than night or summer school because it is my weakest subject and being in class, everyday is the best way for me to do it. Mr. Karst is happy that I have thought ahead and makes the changes without any problems. I am pleased that I've taken another step towards fixing everything I've made a mess of.

Christmas comes quickly and I am barely prepared. I still have a hard time in crowds because I don't like to be touched, so I order all my presents on-line. Elizabeth calls to invite me to celebrate with Xavier, my father and her, for Christmas Eve, and I agree. Dr. Minders thinks it's important for me, and I really do want to be a part of my baby brother's life. For Christmas Day this year Andrea invites my mom to join us next door, and I am thrilled. I was really worried that, since she's doing better, I wouldn't be able to spend time with Maggie.

Christmas Eve is scary. I haven't seen my father in over two months and he hasn't called. When I arrive at their apartment, Elizabeth is the one to open the door, and Xavier is sleeping in a baby chair, looking adorable.

"Grace, what happened to your hair?" she exclaims quietly.

I spend the next hour talking to her and explaining everything that happened.

"Oh, honey, I can't imagine how bad things have been, but I have to say, you look a lot healthier than last time I saw you."

"Elizabeth, where's my dad?"