State of Grace (Complete)

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NINE GRADE FOUR

"So, Honeybun, what kind of party do you want?" Daddy is home from a conference and we are all sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast.

"I was thinking of maybe having a pool party?" I suggest, hopefully. "Maggie could probably be a lifeguard and I know Andrea would be okay with us using the pool."

My mom doesn't like the suggestion and begins to shoot it down, "Grace, that's not a good idea, it's not safe and it's an imposition to expect them to host your party."

"Now Carla," Daddy starts, I'm sure the idea of a party where he doesn't have to do anything is something he likes the sound of. "It doesn't hurt to ask. After all, we did let Grace be in their wedding." That makes it sound like it was a favour, rather than an honour, and I'm confused. My dad sounds kind of selfish.

"If you want to ask, be my guest." Mommy's voice is tight, and she gets up and walks away.

"I'll ask later today, Sweetiepie." Daddy stands and drops his dishes in the sink for me to clean up.

Andrea and Steve are actually excited to help me with my party. My mom pays Maggie a bunch of money to lifeguard and buy food, and Steve and Andrea decorate. Melody and Audra had worked out a guest list a few weeks ago, so I have invited all the girls from my grade, a few from the grade above, all the boys from the twins grade, and a few from mine. All in all, twenty people were invited, and eighteen have said they are coming.

It's an okay party, but I don't ever really enjoy myself. The boys run all over the place being, well, ten year old boys, and the girls try to act older than they are. I think I would have been happier just sticking to the same thing as previous years, with just me and the twins, but I guess things can't stay the same forever.

"What's wrong, Gracie?" Maggie come up to me as I sit and watch the other kids flirting.

"I don't know, I think I would have liked a party like last year better."

"This one is pretty good, though."

I don't want her to think I'm not grateful that her parents agreed to do this because I know my parents never would have, "No, it's a great party, it looks wonderful and the food is amazing. I mean everyone is having a fantastic time."

"So then, why aren't you?"

"I don't know, it's just Audra and Melody wanted me to have a boy-girl party because they think the twins are cute. And I don't know...I just don't like it." I bite my lip, trying hard to think of a way to express what I mean.

"It's hard, Grace, girls tend to think of this kind of stuff before boys, and really, even boys in high school aren't totally mature enough for relationships. If you're happy just being friends with boys, rather than wanting to go out with them, that's totally fine. No one should make you feel bad that you aren't ready yet. Besides, I'm pretty sure Chris and Ian wouldn't want to share you anyway. Any guy who looks at you will have a problem."

"But I don't think I want to share them, either. It really bugs me that Audra is interested in them even though she can't tell which is which. That just seems really silly."

"It is really silly, but that's the way this stuff goes, especially in elementary school. Besides, whatever any girl has with either of my brothers, it won't be the same as the way they feel about you. The girls or boys will come and go, but you guys will be friends forever." Maggie gives me a big hug, and I feel a lot better. Then Ian pushes Audra in the pool and I feel a ton better, especially when she comes up sputtering about how much she hates him.