State of Grace (Complete)

Christmas and a Thrilling New Year's Kiss

Ch. 42

Christmas Day is cold and grey. Snow is coming but hasn't come yet. I hope it holds off long enough for Elizabeth and Xavier to come. My dad made it official that he couldn't come, calling to wish me Merry Christmas from somewhere out west, where there was a lecture series he had to attend. It's not likely and I don't care—truly I'm surprised he bothered to call. I have a nice hot shower, then get dressed and go for a walk while I can. The path through the trees to my meadow is frozen, the ground hard beneath my feet. When I get there, it's empty, still and quiet, the grey sky weighing heavily. I sit for a few minutes on the stone wall, just centring myself and missing something intangible. Thinking back to last Christmas and how hard it was to be so close to Ian, I guess I'm glad he's not here. I miss him and his family, but it's okay.

When I stand to walk back to the house, I notice a piece of paper against the rocks, kind of wedged in. When I get closer, I realize it's another folded piece of sketch paper. My heart is pounding as I bend over to pick it up, the paper smooth and fragile in my hands. A riot of colour appears when I open it. This time it's a wreath. All the letters are leaves of holly spelling out Merry Christmas, and it is decorated with berries and a bow. Once again, I am astounded at his skill. This time my name is written across the top and his across the bottom. I guess he knew I'd probably come out here and find this, and I am touched by the gesture. My eyes fill with regretful tears. When I get back in the house, I put it in my desk drawer along with the thanks illustration, which I actually look at pretty regularly.

My mom and I start on food, getting everything ready to go before Elizabeth and Xavier come over. We've got a chicken to roast because a turkey is too big for just the three of us big people, and mashed potatoes, carrots, salad, and some rolls. It's not too bad considering my mom's never made any sort of holiday meal before. When Elizabeth and Xavier arrive it's a bit surreal having them here, but good, too. Xavier is walking and into everything, so it takes the three of us to try to keep him from pulling all sorts of things down on himself. Elizabeth also walks around, but with fascination. She sees a few family pictures of us that we never bothered to take down, like one from Christmas in Salzburg, and Daddy's desk with his towering piles of books.

"It's crazy, he described some of these things to me, but they were never in a house with a family. Seeing them like this is just strange, like he created a whole apartment, but based it on things he really has."

"You're welcome to any of this stuff you want. He's never come back for any of it and we just haven't gotten around to tossing it yet," my mom offers.

"It seems like it might be a better idea to just sell a lot of it. Maybe cover some of our expenses," Elizabeth says, bitterly.

"Has he gone away without leaving any money?" my mom asks.

"That's nothing new," I explain to Elizabeth, and I give her the whole story.

"I just wish I could leave, but I still don't have a job lined up. Enough for now, though, so let's just have Christmas!" So we do.

Chris knocks on the door and I fling it open. He looks different from his time at school, slightly rounded, but not heavy, just not the same as he left. His hair is shorter and spiky and he smells like he's using a spicier aftershave.

"Grace!"

"Come on in, Chris, I missed you so much!" and he and I run up to my room.

"So how's everything?" he asks when he's firmly ensconced on my bed. I'm sitting on my desk chair across from him.

"Everything's pretty much the same here. My last year of school is going well, and my classes are good. I like my job."

"Yes, but are you going out or doing anything social?"

"Not really. I go to the gym and I went to a reading at the university with Max."

"Max?"

"Yeah, he's in my creative writing class, but it was awhile ago. Nothing happened."

"Well, that's it. You're coming out with me on New Years, I have someone I want you to meet."

"Sam?"

He sighs and gets a happy, sweet grin on his face, "Yes," then proceeds to tell me all about him.

The drive to Maggie's is easy, but the longest drive I've done as the driver. I've also never driven on a big highway or in a city. Chris is good at keeping me from panicking and helping me navigate the lanes I need to be in at what time. I try to remember everything because I'm supposed to drive back by myself after New Years, and now I realize it's a bit of a daunting task.

Maggie and Marc's house is a cute blue bungalow with yellow trim, and because Chris has been texting them updates, they are waiting at the door when we arrive. Baby Olivia is wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket and is peacefully sleeping in Maggie's arms.

"Oh my, Maggie, she's totally adorable!" I exclaim quietly as we step in the house, "Can I hold her?"

"Sure," Maggie gives me a big smile and hands the sleeping bundle over.

"Anything to hand her off for a little."

"It's funny, Elizabeth's the same way with Xavier."

"How is your little brother?"

"Just perfect for this little girl in another 20 years or so," I joke.

Chris gets a lift back to his dorm with Marc after dinner, and Maggie and I take the time between diapers and feeding to have some girl talk.

"So, how's my favourite little sister?"

"I'm okay," I tell her honestly.

"Just okay?"

"That's better than I've been in awhile. I just don't know that I'm supposed to have more."

"Oh Honey, of course you are. Any boys on the horizon?"

"No. Not that I know of."

"What about Ian?"

"What about him, Maggie? He's moved on, just like he has to."

"Gracie, I spent time with him last week, he really hasn't moved on."

"If things were different, if I were different, maybe things could happen between us, but it's not, and I'm not."

"Grace, all I'm asking is if the opportunity ever arises for you two to be together, just give it a chance."

"I can't promise anything Maggie, if he finds someone before I'm able to even think of a relationship than I'll be happy for him."

New Year's Eve is amazing. Chris and I go out with a bunch of his friends from school to a party in one of the student houses. Sam is tall and slender, towering over Chris by at least six inches. He has mocha coloured skin with deep brown doe eyes and his hair is in tiny little nibs studding the top of his head. From his attentiveness to Chris it is totally obvious they are completely into each other. When they stand next to each other, they are constantly finding ways to touch each other's arms or hands, and as the evening goes on, I see them do little kisses or caresses to each other's faces. It's just amazing and so sweet, and I am totally jealous.

"Oh Chris, you do have a thing for a nice pair of eyes, don't you?" I tease.

"I know, aren't they spectacular? But you know, it's more like he's just the nicest person I've ever met. He's studying social work and wants to work with victims of family violence, and he's just so caring about all sorts of things."

"That's great, you can heal their outer problems and he can heal the inner ones."

Chris laughs, "I still have a lot more school to get through to get to that point, but I like the idea."

When the ball drops Chris turns to Sam and the two of them share the most amazing kiss. It's slow and soft and like they melt together. When they break apart Chris' face is flushed and he is obviously completely smitten, and I am totally thrilled for him.