Welcome To The: BUNK

27

        I wanted to scream, and scream until  my  lungs gave out. Guilt racked my inside pulling, punching, twisting everything. I took down to the bandages rapped around my nuckles, tainted a bright white to a dull light pink. I then rolled up the side of my dirt streaked white shirt dark spalttered marks spotted the front of the shirt only added to my nawing guilt. My eyes scanned my side that struck the hard cold wall when Voss got a surprise lucky blow to my face catching me off guard. I saw yellow brusising blooming the size of my fist. Older purple green colored bruises decorated my gut. I released my shirt letting it fall down. A deep disgusted feeling pulsed thru me at the sight of the bruises and bandages. Never in the bunk had i been scent to the infirmary for something like this...sure the kids, my self includes ruffhoused for a good joke or play, but never scent to the infirmary. Yes, there was incidents in the bunk when groups didnt see eye to eye on something and a fight wound brake out but the guards never took us to the infirmary unless it was life threatening. This, these bruises where not life threatening.

Whats changed? Did they send me here to just congratulate me and hand me a weapon? Pills, why now give us pills if they havnt before. Only if there was a fever like sickness in the bunk, but i wasnt sick... Not physically at least. A sigh of frustration escaped my barrier as i slumped forward no long sitting upright ridged. I tried to busy my self by laying back down on the itchy, old, slightly smelling of chemicals and sleeping, but sleep wouldnt come. I opened my eyes and stared up at the black round watching camera, a slight blink of a tiny red light signaling it was on and some one was watching. With every new task or pointless activity i gave my self my mind always tried to push the guilt back into my center. Fustrated from trying to rest again trying to ignore my subconscious and failing i sat up, throwing my legs over the side of the low cot. I stared at the curtain watching blurred imagines of beings pass by. Everytime i looked to the ground my eyes were automatically drawn to my bag purched on the floor near my feet. I would look away, and all of a sudden i was back looking to the floor. Reaching down i picked up the bag it suddenly felt a million times heavier then before, pulling the straps the helm slipped open revealing the temptation smiling up at me.

"No. . . No, no" i told me self and pulled the straps closing the bag. Maybe it was loaded? What if it was turning on? What if it was fake..? Stop it. Shaking my head i looked back to the blue plastic bag to see it open my hands on the helm. With out hestaintion i reached it. My fingers touching the inflexible object It felt like fire, burning it was so cold. The burning feeling increaswd as i felt my hand rap around the handle, pulling it out of the bag. Heavy, it was heavy in my palm, turning my fingures white from the friction. It felt unnatural in my hand, as if it was a dream, a cloud of mist instead but it was real. The handle fit, that was the scary part. Ripped from the trance i heard heavy footsteps echo in my beating head. I looked back to my hand the object becoming lightier with every second i held it, but i new it couldnt stay thier. Returning the objecr back to the bag i pulled closed mouth of the object and held it close, afraid it would disappear. I looked forward to watch blurrs come close then opened the curtain stepping in.

"Hello Ms.Nickles," Dr. Green stepped thru the slit a tall black covered officer next to him like stink on shit. I saw another blur standing outside the curtain, probably another guard. His square glasses purched on his nose caugt the bright light.

"Whats with the guards Green, i thought we were friends?" i sneered my voice flat. I new that little retort would get under his skin, i hope it did. I hated him with a burning passion, its all his fault.... No its yours, you needed up here from your own actions...i guess i did...

"As we both know you wouldn't heasitait to injuire me like you did to Ms.Voss, so the officers are for your own protection Ms. Nickles." he stated sounding annoyed as his brows crunched together. He walked over to thw machine beside me and looked down to the needles i pulled out laying on the floor.

" Mis. Nickles, if I may be so bold as to ask a question. it doesn't bother you at all that you nearly killed another inmate in cold blood? And one you have had a past relationship with." he spoke as of asking if my hair was brown. I screwed my mouth shut, fighting agasint the bitter string of curses wanting to fly, but i knew that would only giving him the satisfaction of a reply.

"i would have you put down for a unbalanced aberration to this society" he spoke as if i was a box thrown into the hall to block his path. A object of no value then a person, but i guess i was just a inmate to them.

" why am i still alive you clearly dont like the idea, as I remember you claimed I was a killer" i stated firmly pushong my anger away. Maybe i could boil his blood and have him spill a few answers? Then again....that didnt work so well the first time...

"Ah yes, and you said you weren't the only murder here. Killing you is not my choice to make either way if it was I'd do it gladly, your nothing but a distraction and a menace" he snarled. His back to me as he reached behind the machine pulling on something as the screen went black. So he's not the boss, or leader running the bunks. Who is? Who classifes us into training or what we are ranked? Who really was in charged?

"What am i disrupting, is it your presouies system, the compound?" i pressed. I saw his back tence and his movments of looking over the blank machine pause. He ignored me not taking the bait. Maybe. . .maybe i could avendge the bunk kids by. . . By. . .No. No. . . He turned back and faced me his face blank.

"Your fine, if your feeling any pain tell a guard. Your free to go Ms. Nickles" he said shoving his hands into his white lab coat.

"Wait! Dr. Green. . . What happened to the bunk kids?" i blurted out, unablw to keep that questain unanswered. I watched him stop from exiting the curtian the guard still at the machine. He turned back around the mysteries gleam twinkled in his silver dull eyes.

"You killed them" he spat. Then left, leaving me with a screaming mind and a guard.

"You killed them.."

"you killed them..."

"You cuased hell to brake loose in the bunk, why do you think im here? Give me that stupid club..."

"Same as you, we're both a couple of oranges..."

"Nickles, there is a resistance ever since we heard about you knocking out that guard things have changed..."

Everything has changed. Its all my fault.

...all my fault,
... i killed them.