That Moment When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend (Rydellington/R5) HOLD

Chapter 4: Desperation

*Rydel's POV*

"Rydel, about earlier..." He began. "When we uh...we uh..." He scratched the back of his head nervously. It was actually kinda cute. Although he could probably commit murder and I'd still think it was cute...too much? Yeah, too much.

"We kissed, Ellington." I shocked myself with the firmness and authority in my voice, not to mention the fact I call him Ratliff, not Ellington. I shocked him too. He looked at me like I grew a second head.

"Uh, yeah." He looked away from me but kept glancing up.

"Twice," I added. "My first kiss." I kept going. I felt my eyes grow narrow, and despite my efforts they stayed that way. I felt like a bitch right now, I mean, I kissed him.

"I'm sorry that it was your first kiss. I don't know what you're thinking right now, but I'm still really confused." He said honestly.

"Me too, but I am sure of one thing." I hesitated in saying it, but as far as I know it didn't show.

"And?" He seemed desperate. Desperate for something that I'm unsure of. Answers?

"I'm sure that..." I shifted and took one of his hands in mine, and touched his cheek with my other. My eyes fixated on our connecting hands. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand in soft strokes. I lost my train of thought and didn't finish.

"Rydel?" I moved my other hand from his cheek and rested it in my lap. "Rydel, what are you sure of?" His voice softened even more than before. He sounded more like a friend, speaking in a daily conversation tone. Rather than a friend waiting for the blow.

"I'm sure that I love you." I moved my gaze to his face, which seemed to also be glued to our hands. "Ratliff?" It was my turn to be desperate for an answer. Tears threatened to fall again. I moved the hand in my lap back to his face again. "Ell?"

"Rydel..." He muttered.

"Ratliff?" I begged. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I knew I just ruined the bond between me and my best friend.

"I-I" he wasn't sure what to say. I ripped my hand from his. I stood up and stormed down the street back to the bus. I changed into pajamas angrily, threw my hair in a ponytail, and climbed into my bunk. I laid so I was facing the wall and cried to myself. That certainly did not go as I had thought it would go.

Ten minutes later or so, I heard the bus door open again. I heard quick footsteps and they stopped right next to me.

"Rydel?" I ignored him. I felt a hand on my side but I swatted it away. "Rydel?"

"Leave me alone," I sobbed.

"Delly, I wasn't done!" He argued.

"Give me some space." I commanded. I wanted nothing more than to pull him into bed with me and cuddle into his chest, but I need to know exactly how he feels.

"Del-" I cut him off.

"We will talk in the morning." I could barely hold it together as I waited for him to leave.

"Okay. I'll respect that. Good night. Happy New Years," he said rather bitterly. I ignored him and pinched my eyes shut, trying to dam the tears back. You think I would've cried myself dry by now...

At around three in the morning everyone came in. I pretended to be asleep. I actually fell asleep tonight.

I woke up feeling happy and alive. I got out of my bunk bed and walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I finished getting ready and changed into blue shorts, a green tank top, a pink Hollister hoodie, and put my hair in a messy ponytail.