Poems/Songs

I Should Be Happy

I should be happy for you
But I just can't

I'm sorry

I can't deal
With the one fact
That you can go and I can't

I'm sorry

I say you're the bad friend
But in reality
That's me

I'm sorry

I should be happy for you
But I just can't

I'm sorry

I don't deserve you
I don't deserve your friendship
I don't deserve anything

I wish I could be happy for you
But I can't
It's so hard

You keep telling me
People you'll get to see
All that's doing
Is making me more upset

I know you don't mean to hurt me
Not this time at least
I know you want to tell someone
I just wish it wasn't me

I should be a better friend
But I just can't

I'm sorry

I can't deal
With the one thing
You're happy about

I'm so sorry

I don't deserve you
I don't deserve your friendship
I don't deserve anything

I wish I could be happy for you
But I really can't
It's just so hard

You keep telling me
All the people who might notice you
But all it's doing
Is breaking me more

I know you're not meaning to break me
Not this time at least
I know you need to talk to someone
I just wish that responsibility wasn't mine

I want to be better
Every day
I want to be more understanding
Every minute

I need to be better
Better than who I am
I need to be understanding
But it's so hard

I can't be better
Not right now
Not when everything's so hard

I can't be understanding
I wish I could
But it's so hard

And it kills me
To think I'm hurting you
I know you do that to me
But I'm not you

It kills me
To think you'll hate me
If I continue this
But all I can say

Is I'm sorry

I don't deserve you
I don't deserve your friendship
I don't deserve anything

I wish I could be happy for you
But I honestly can't
It's too hard

You tell me these things
That only break me further
They kill me little by little
And I can't take it anymore

I know you're just happy
And I should be too
But I can't take this anymore

I'm so sorry

___________________________

I got into a fight with one of my friends and I would type more than I'm going to but I just can't right now. I'm sorry guys.

Stay strong, be you, and love yourself.💫
-Raylee