Swapped Love | ✓

■ Complicated feelings

Jared had dropped everyone except me. We were all tired and smelly but still Jared looked good to me with his messed up hair and tired face. He was cute in that way.

He had again exhanged seats with me fifteen minutes ago after getting few minutes of sleep. It wasn't enough sleep but according to him, his energy was renewed again.

As we stopped in front of my house and I was about to go saying bye, he grabbed my hand. I turned to find him looking at me with a blank expression.

"Did you e- enjoy today?" He looked unnerved.

I smiled nervously, "Yeah, very much. Did you?"

"Absolutely . I will never forget this trip. It has to be one of my most favorite trips," He gulped, blinking rapidly.

"Is everything alright?" I brushed my thumb over his hand. His eyes flickered to my fingers before he slowly intertwined our hands. It wasn't a tight grasp, he was giving me the pass to let go but I kept it there, wondering so many things at once but unable to form coherent words.

"Alice, I want to say s-something to you. I have to say it, otherwise I will go mad now," He said seriously. It was a look full of intensity and determination to a whole next level. I don't think I had ever seen him look this intent except the day at the dressing shop.

"I have to say something too," I said, again feeling guilty.

Go on, tell him Allison. You can do it. Its been too long. The more you weave your web of lies, the further you're sinking in. Just tell him.

"Okay, first you go," He nodded.

"No, first you."

"Alright, since I am desperate now, so I will go first. Alice, I-"

My phone rang. I gave a glance to find Alice which was weird because Alice usually didn't call me. I gave a quick look at Jared to make sure he wasn't staring at my caller ID but he seemed pissed at the disturbance but he didn't utter any profanities.

"Just a second," I took out my phone.

"Hello?"

"Alli! Please come home! I need you," Alice slurred.

Shit. She was drunk. She must have stolen some wine off the cabinet. My parents were going to be really angry if they knew.

"Ali-Allison? W-what...you..."

She cut the call.

"What happened?" Jared asked, looking at my expression.

"Its Alic-Allison. I have to go urgently. What were you saying?" I asked hurriedly.

He swallowed before he gave a rueful smile and shook his head.

"No, you go. Allison needs you right now, that's more important. I will tell you next week on the engagement day. I am sorry we can't hang out this sunday. Wedding preparations and all. But I will say it on that day, I promise. Take care of Allison. Bye."

I nodded and got out.

《》《》

"Why did Trevor come back?" Alice shouted.

"Alice, calm down," I said.

"No! Everything was alright until he showed up again. I thought I had enough. I met him at the movies today. I had a date after so long. I was shutting down those feelings but today he saw me trying to kiss the guy and he punched him. I did it to spite him though but I had no idea he would hit him. And when I shouted at him...he told me he still loves me and he wanted another chance and then....he k-kissed me," She cried.

"So what did you do?"

"I ran away again. I can't. Those feelings are again cropping up. I don't want them to," She buried her face in her hands.

"Alice..." I couldn't bear to see her like this.

"What if he breaks me again? I won't be able to manage this time," She broke down.

"Al, he won't. It was a misunderstanding. He loves you."

"I don't know, Alli. Please tell Jared I won't be able to make it to his sister's engagement. Give my apologies. I can't be there," She rubbed her face.

"You can't run away, Alice. You need to face him," I said.

"No. Tell him," She ran to the bathroom and emptied her stomach's content.

"I love Trevor but I hate him..." She murmured and crashed into the bed.

《》《》

"Alli?" Alice knocked from outside.

"Come in," I said.

She entered, looking fresh and cleaned up. Her face was devoid of any makeup and she looked like the old Alice. She even had the glasses on.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I am sorry for the scene I created last night." She said.

"Its alright. So, did you think about it?" I asked, patting the spot next to me.

She sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed, staring out of the window.

"I don't know. I can be friends again....but lovers...I am not sure," She mumbled.

"Well, that's better than nothing, right?" I asked.

"I don't know. How are things with Jared?" She asked.

"Its going the usual. Normal," I said, flipping through my diary.

"Did you tell him?"

"Tried to but didn't get a chance."

It was crap, I knew. I did have loads of chances to tell him. It would just take few seconds, yet I was holding back every single time.

"Aren't Hailey and her fiancee already engaged? Why are they having a party again?"

"He had proposed to her in private. This is the official occasion for friends and family. This will be on the newspapers."

She nodded and we stayed quiet for few seconds.

"You better tell him before its too late, Alli," She said seriously.

"I plan to tell him on the engagement day," I said quietly.

"No no no. Don't say it on that day. The entire party maybe ruined for him," She said, shaking her head.

I pondered on her words, "You are right. Maybe after the wedding..."

"Yes. Thats good. And tell him I am still not going to the engagement party," She said getting up.

"Sure?"

"Positive. I need to take a break from Trevor."