Back Where I Belong

Chapter 11

Zoey's pov

"That was an awesome song," Calum compliments as we sit down on the plane. I got a middle seat. Between Calum, who was in the aisle seat, and Peyton, who had the window seat. Luke was in front of Calum. Michael was in front of me. Ashton was in front of Peyton.

"Thanks Calum," I say softly, struggling to untangle my earbuds. His smile fades slightly. He watches me curiously, wondering why I was acting strange.

I know I'm acting weird. I know that Mikey, Luke, Calum, and Ashton are worried about me. I know that if it contines, then they'll try to get me help.

But I don't need help. I'm just, having a little bit of an internal conflict. I want to be happy. I mean, I should be. I'm back with my boys. And Peyton. I know Char and Jace are going to be in LA, waiting to hang out tomorrow. But I still can't get over Cindy. That had hit me hard. I know I'm supposed to be moving on from her, that's what she wants. But I can't. I'm mad. I hate Tim and Polly. I hate them with a burning passion. I know I shouldn't. But I can't help it.

"Zoey, are you okay?" Michael asks, turning around in his seat.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, trying to control my temper.

"Well you just randomly started shaking," he answers, concern plastered on his face. I glance down at my hands. Not only were they slightly shaking, but I had managed to untangle my earbuds while having my internal debate.

"I'm fine," I insist, "I just got a little cold." That was a lie. It was warm on the plane. Michael raises an eyebrow at my excuse, but doesn't argue. Smart boy. You should never argue with a girl. Especially this girl. She's always right.

"Calum," I mutter, temporarily pausing my music.

Calum turns to face me, "What's up Zoey?"

"I know that you and the other boys are worried about me and want to get me help, but I don't want any. I don't need any," I blurt out.

Calum sighs, "Zoey, we are worried about you. But with good reason. I mean, since we got you back, you've been acting different. You're a lot sadder. And, you get nervous for no reason. Like earlier, you just randomly started shaking."

"That's because I'm still upset about Cindy," I defend.

"I know. I would be bummed about that too. But you're showing signs of serious depression. Zoey, we're scared because we think that we might lose you," he says softly.

Whatever I was about to say disappears from my mind. The boys were scared they would lose me. By sulking about losing Cindy, I scared the boys because they thought they would lose me. That I'd go over the edge.

Reality hits me hard. I start to feel guilty. I had broken Cindy's promise. I was supposed to move on. Instead, I stayed in the past. And by doing so, I hurt the boys. I was a terrible person.

"Don't cry, Zoey. It's okay. Trust me," Calum whispers,wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I snuggle into his side, holding onto him tightly.

Before I can stop them, my thoughts come tumbling out. I apologize over and over. Calum shrugs it off, assuring me that he wasn't mad. And that the other boys weren't mad either. And if I didn't believe him, then I could ask the others when they woke up. I declined his offer. I trusted him.