3 AM Heartbreak

Forbidden and Unwritten.

I read The Great Gatsby again for like millionth time and I'm pretty sure this was inspired by Daisy and Gatsby's love.

I hate myself for longing for someone who is forbidden.
My words of love for them are unwritten until now.
Loving you makes me sick to my stomach.
I see how happy you are with her, and there is nothing I can do but keep quiet and smile.
I make myself sick.
I want it to end, I want it to end so badly because all I want is the happiness that seems forbidden to me.
I know I'm selfish.
I know I'm an awful person.
But please understand that I had never been treated well until you.
All I want to know is that I do deserve happiness and love in my life.
I am so fucking close to it.
I am so fucking close to having the life I have always wanted.
I am just a foolish girl, in love with a forbidden man.
These words are forbidden and have remained unwritten for 5 years.
So please, try to understand me.
Try to take my secrets to heart.
All I want is to be happy.
All I want is to make you happy.
My love is forbidden.
So please, someone please let me have this one thing in life that will make me happy.
Please let me be happy for once.