365 Days Of Grace (Sequel to Burning)

Chapter 29-Hard To Face Reality

Chapter 29-Hard To Face Reality

I stood there silently, feeling dead as the silence engulfed us all. Nothing could be heard but the occasional sobs, sadness filled the aura of the place. The last time I went to a funeral was probably when Maya died. I never thought that I'd have to go to yet another one again. I just hated sadness, all I wanted to do was to spread happiness as much as I could. But apparently everything that I touch just dies.

I looked at the open casket, she was in a beautiful dress, holding roses in her hands. Red. I pictured her blood on my hands as she died on me. I touched her, she died. I touched Maya, maybe I should just leave before I become the reason more people are gone.

Jason was standing beside me, looking at the casket with a blank look. I don't know if he ever knew how she felt about him. And now she'll never get to tell him. But I guess it was true after all, the saying that you'd do anything for love. Love does make you do crazy things, it's toxic, giving you an adrenaline rush only to end up empty and dead. Drained out of feelings.

Jason seemed to be distant today, but then again everyone were. Vicky stood by my right side, holding my hand, occasionally giving it a gentle squeeze. The way he should be holding me right now. People were giving speeches, crying, I felt like I owed her a speech as well. But then again I never knew her that much anyways. Yet she sacrificed her life for me...and I was afraid to tell her my last goodbyes?

After Parker finished his speech, I slowly found myself making my way towards the small stage. I could feel his gaze on me, but I continued dragging my legs towards the stage. Parker walked down the couple steps, giving me a small forced smile. She was one of his best friends after all. I stood infront of the mic, looking down, trying to recollect my thoughts. What I'd be saying and how. I slowly brought my gaze up to meet his. And right then everything around was a blur.

"I don't know Jenna that much, I never got the chance to do so and I don't think now I'll ever get that opportunity..." I started letting out a sigh before glancing at the casket.

"But if there's one thing I know about her for sure, it'd probably be how loyal she is. Confident and always knew what she wanted and faught for it. She never got a good chance at love and I guess that love didn't treat her right...yet she was willing to risk her life for love" I said shaking my head slightly.

"She sacrificed her own life for me and I won't lie and say that a part of me doesn't wish to go back in time and take her place instead. She doesn't deserve this, she was so beautiful. Maybe she never let me in and probably never would've, but I just know that she's a great person...thank you, Jenna" I said pushing back the tears before walking off the stage and back towards where I was once standing.

Vicky and Parker were standing there, too close yet too afraid to move any closer. I looked down to see Parker's hand inching towards Vicky's. And in a swift movement, he grabbed her hand in his. I almost smiled when she didn't let go and instead let her thumb brush over his knuckles gently.

I looked at where Jason once stood, to find him not there anymore. I looked around, yet there was no sight of him. I thought he was in the car or something and so I started walking off in the direction of the car. I found myself walking around and soon my eyes fell on a figure leaning up against a tree. I looked both ways before crossing the street and towards where he stood.

I leaned against the tree beside him, glancing at him to find him staring off in space. I hesitantly grabbed his hand, I didn't know if he'd let go. But he didn't, instead he intertwined our fingers together, making my heart melt.

"I knew...I knew all along the feelings she had for me. Hell, I even used that to make you jealous at the beginning. I feel like shit and I don't know what to do" he said softly, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence.