Ch. 17 - I Need You

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I need you, girl.

Read the rest and you'll understand why I used this song.

/cries/

-

Jeez, that was the most glorious shower I've ever taken I've ever taken. I've been stressed this whole day because of the results and because Mom & Dad haven't called to check up on me yet. I understand that they're busy with their jobs, but they should at least send me a message into my Inbox.

"Oh my gosh, it's so stuffy in here," I complain and open the bathroom door. I'm always turning the shower knob to such hot water, which is probably why the bathroom always feels like a sauna.

I make sure that my hair is combed all the way by weaving my fingers through it and make my way into the main area.

"Jongin, what are we having for dinn—"

My eyes move from the ground then go Jongin, who's sitting on his bed crying to himself. There are tissues just laying around him like a blanket and his eyes are just bloody red with tears pouring out. I swear he wasn't like this before I took a shower.

"Soojung-ah, I don't know what's happening."

I quickly jog over and sit next to him. Grabbing his hands, I quickly run them to make sure he knows I'm here for him. If he needs comfort, I'll be here for him.

"What's wrong, huh?" I ask, wiping his face off with my hands. I've never seen him this disappointed before, but we all have those days where we just break down...

He looks at me with those pitiful eyes.

"There's something bothering me... my brain! I— I definitely saw her in the scenarios but I can't create her image again. Do you know h-how close I was to remembering her? T-his much." He holds his thumb and pointer finger so close together that I think they're touching.

"But the thing is, she feels familiar. I know that I've seen her somewhere in this world before, but I can't figure who she is. Do you understand my frustration, Soojung? Didn't you see him in your head not too long ago?" he continues to cry and looks away, grabbing another tissue. He blows his nose and so much crying-snot comes out.

Is this how much he loves her? Does he love her so much that it just pains him because he just wants to see her again? That's true love, I say.

On the opposite side, what am I feeling? How am I not, to this extent, affected by this? Why am I just being a cold hearted soul?

"I swear, I've seen her before... the way she held me in that scenario..."

Not know what to say, I pull him into my arms and let him continue to cry about her onto my shoulders. I also continue to hear him say such loving, saddening words that I also start to feeling affected by it.

"I know that I still fucking love her."

A few tears fall out of my eyes from his words. I cry because I know that he's suffering so much more than I am, but I can't even do anything to help him.

That's because I would have to go find her for him, but I don't know who she is.

I will, though.

I'm going to go find her, just for Jongin.

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