This Should Make A Terrible Story

Piña Coladas

I just parked the Golf Cart when my ringtone decided to make some noise again.

"Sue?"

"Yeah, Art, are you giving the tour yet?" She asked.

"Yeah, I used the Club's Cart."

"Okay, Great, say hi to her for me, Love ya."

And she dropped it without another word.

I looked at her and she had an eyebrow raised at me tied together with her signature sarcastic smirk as we started walking from where I parked to the front desk.

"Escape? The Piña Colada song? Rupert Holmes? Nineteen--"

"Seventy-Nine. Yes. It's the perfect summer song. Is there a problem?"

"If you would count the fact that I agree a total hundred percent a problem, then yeah, we do have a problem." She said.

"Well, it's not just that. The song's iconic. I don't change from season to season. Because it's--"

"A classic. Yeah, bucky, I get that. Very much."

"When are you gonna drop the nickame?" I asked, trying to sound annoyed when in fact, I admired the fact that she nicknamed me. From a Superhero, no less."

"Uh, never. Cause you love me for it." She grinned outgoingly.

I gave out a sigh before saying,

"Ugh, let's just get to the pool already."

The red haired Concierge welcomed us with a smile.

Stacey. We already knew each other. I've been crushing on her for a year now, actually.

"Good morning, Arthur, who's our lovely guest for today?"

"The new girl in town. And yes, I know I'm lovely, thank you, uhm, Stacey." Jess said, eyeing her metallic nametag.

"Welcome to the neighborhood, miss--"

"Lark. Jessica Lark. I like your hair." She commented.

"Thanks. Enjoy your day!!" Stacey said. Unsurprisingly, Gleefully. With an ear-to-ear grin.

"She seems nice." Jess said.

"Yeah. One smiling contest and the next moment you're great friends."

"Hey, that's how we became friends just this morning. Cept instead of a laughing contest, it was the first episode of Dork and the Hot Chick: On Stranger Tides."

Oh god, another pirates reference.

"Hot chick?" I said.

"Hottest one throughout the multiverse."

I stopped walking.

"..."

"What?" She asked.

"Multiverse. Never heard that from a girl's mouth before." I said.

"Well, you've never known anything like my mouth before."

Again, I froze, having no idea how to react.

"..."

"Oh, dude, take a joke."

"A fucking joke." I said.

"..." this time, she was silent. We just stood there.

"Jess?"

"So he can make puns. Okay." She said.

"Yeah. I can. It's just that I don't use them til the Second Date."

Okay. Grayson, smoothest thing you've said all day.

"Huh. Okay. So you can be a smooth dork too."

"Yeah, Rare find throughout the multiverse."

"Grayson, you are full of surprises. Come on, summer's a-wasting, bucky." She said as we continued walking to the poolside bar.

There weren't many people despite the fact that it was summer. The place was deserted except for the bartender, Mr. O'Mally.

"I'll just go strip into my bikini in the changing room, kay?" She whispered and I stiffened.

"Heh. Men." She muttered.

I thought it was gonna be quiet for a second after she left before the bartender, Mr. O'Mally, snickered.

"Pfft. Women. Right?" He grunted.

"Damn right. What're ya gonna do, kiss em?" I replied.

"Whatever works." He said.

"Two cocktails should do it." I told him.

"Yeah? Pick yer poison, kid." He smirked.

And I grinned, knowing exactly what to order.

...

She walked out of the changing room in her deep green bikini, carrying her paper bag and wearing her sunglasses. Her hair was waving in the wind and she was walking in exes like a model.

"Thirsty?" I asked.

She took a look at the cocktails and smiled.

"Huh. Seriously?" She said.

"Piña Coladas for the both of yers, now shut up and drink up." Mr. O'Mally lamented.

She sat beside me and took the glass. Having left mine untouched, we decided for a toast.

"To summer, bucky." She said.

"Yeah, to you." I replied as our glasses clinked.

I downed the wretched concoction , being thirsty. She merely took sips.

"So, aren't you gonna dress for the water, Arthur? Arthur... Curry?"

Oh, no, she didn't.

"You most definitely did not just call me Arthur--"

"Aquaman," she said.

"One of the greats. And no, I thought I'd just enjoy the drink."

"And the view." She said.

I shot her a confused look.

"..."

"?"

"Come on, I can see your pupils lower. Eyes up here, bucky." She said.

No use denying it.

"Yeah, okay, and the view."

"Two can play at that game, though, bucky. Lose the shirt." She said, tugging at the plain white V-neck I was wearing.

"What? No, I--"

"It's only fair to the lady." She interrupted.

"Don't wanna make her mad, boy." Mr. O'Mally added.

"Always knew you had a thing for teenage boys, Mr. O'Mally."

There was no use. I just took off my top if I was gonna keep talking to the hottest woman in the Multiverse.

"Finally." She said as I felt her caress my bare torso. My bare, muscle-free torso.

"What are you doing? I'm no Somerhalder bodybuilder if that's your question.

"Obviously not. I was just... examining."

"Examining. Really? Crime scene? Arson? Too much heat maybe?"

"No, that would be on mine. I was examining so I could determine how much I need."

Kay, that creeped me out a bit there.

"How much you need for what?"

"To finally do it to you." She said, firmly.

I stiffened.

"Sorry. Do... what?" I asked.

"This."