Listen To Me... ~Frerard {BoyxBoy}

TheBlackVenom

~I'm tired, and can't sleep. If this chapter sucks, my apologies. Enjoy this terrible chapter.

Does Frank represents as a friend of mine? Oh, how I wonder. I'm confused by our 'friendship' after breaking down, three days ago. Today is Monday, and this day is usually my head start of my suicide week. But, today I feel...Happy.

I have no idea, nor an reason why I feel such enlightenment in my behavior. I was walking to school, alone. Since, Mikey is sick, I will have to walk to school and back home, alone. I didn't mind my loneliness, but if this loneliness is still left in the air, I will be craving for someone presence.

I stared at the floor, thinking as I step over the cracks, my thoughts overwhelming and several that leaves me, dumbfounded. I was lonely, and I knew that happiness that I woke up with, is slowly dying. As it dies down in the inside, I felt empty. However, I heard fast footsteps behind me, I didn't bother since I thought it was a kid catching up with a friend. By catching up, it was supposedly me.

"Hey, Gerard!" Someone exclaimed, running up beside me. I noticed the unknown- Or 'friend's shoes. It was was recognizable, and I knew instantly who it was. I couldn't help but smile, I was confused why I enjoyed his presence, but it had made me feel safe and sane. "Hello, Frank." I say, looking at his slightly red cheeky face.

"Where's your brother?" He ask, looking behind us, than at me. He seem concerned, of why my brother wasn't walking with me as usual. I shrugged, and looked ahead. I didn't trust him, yet. But, a feeling tugging at me to tell him the truth. The truth, that my brother is sick and left home, wasn't exactly something important, but Frank seemed curious. "What is that suppose to mean?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "He's sick," I blurted out. Frank nodded, and smiled a bit.

Was he happy, that my brother wasn't here? "Well, after I walk ya' home. Tell him I said, "Get well, soon!" Okay?" He says with his adorable smile plastered on his face, as he looked at me. I nodded, not saying anything more. I didn't want to get close to him, not physically, but mentally. That includes our friendship. Not like I will trust him, anyway. I do have trust issues, although it's my fear.

Fear, the most thing I hate in life. Of how, it makes you weak. Fear makes you fall into defeat, sadly it's in everyone. Especially, superheroes. Batman, Superman, Aquaman, Captain America, etc... They all have fears. They don't show it, because thet fight it off. When I try to do that, regret, pain, and destruction came in as a result. That's why I don't trust anyone, nor not knowing who to trust. Even to my closest, best friend, little brother- I have no intention to tell him anything, that is suppose to be well kept as a secret.

"What're'ya thinkin' about?" Frank asked. He seemed to notice, that my thoughts had taken over my reality. "Nothing," I shook my head- lying to him. He nodded a bit, "I doubt that." He puts his hands in his pockets, as we approach to the school grounds.

The much I hate lies. The thing, that I do anyways, makes me feel sick. I want to kill myself, because of hating something but doing it, anyways. I'm a hypocrite. But, to be honest, I never met anyone who never lied in their entire life. Where they just suffer with nothing, but let others suffer with the truth.

"Hey, want me to walk ya to class?" Frank asked, as he looked at me for a response. I shook my head, "I'm fine, thank you, though," I stated. He looked at me a bit unsure, but he nodded agreeing with his own self that i'm better off alone. "Alrighty. See ya, at art, Venom." He says with a goofy smile, I couldn't help but felt the corners of my lips lift up. Frank walked off, waving goodbye. I waved back, as his figure become blurr and disappearing off into the halls.

Venom. I noticed that I haven't uploaded any videos. I frowned, thinking about the fans. My fans. They care so much, asking questions, concern over my disappearence and lack of videos. When Frank had realised that I was the 'TheBlackVenom' it had hitten me with a baseball bat, into reality. Of how much I didn't do anything for my fans, for weeks...Or maybe months. I couldn't help but feel the guilt rise inside me, feeling the gap inside me which I used to call 'emptiness'.

~~

After all my classes -including lunch- I had gotten to my last class, art. My favorite because I can finally be in my own world, my own fantasy. Where's there no worries, no pain, just pure happiness and love which I wish to conquer. Of course, that doesn't happen.

Frank sat next to me as usual. I didn't pay any attention towards him, as our teacher had instructed us all to take out our sketchbooks. Half of the class had gotten those notebooks, since they didn't care one bit about art, while the other half actually gotten a sketchbook. Of course, I was one of those kids.

I took out my pencil, the teacher explaining instructions of what to draw. "Today. I will like for you to draw, out a answer. Pictures, no words. This question I will ask you, you have to answer by sketching it out. No words. May be challenging, but I have faith in you." He states, as he walked around the class, hands behind his back, elbows out. I suddenly felt intense, but I had became even more intense that I felt even more vulnerable in the world after the question, he just asked.

"Are you okay?"

That question. I hate it. So damn much, that it makes me want to breakdown, and lock myself in bathroom to force myself to throw up. I hated it so much, because it's the best #1 lie ever in the book, in humanity, and in the whole universe. You can easily lie with that question, you can easily get away with it, too. Even if you're okay, you question your own self, if you fully are. Doubtful by your own answer, that you can't take it back because of other following questions.

The class had started drawing, except for me. I felt time freeze, just because of how much I wanted to run out and cry. Cry out for someone to say something else, other than that stupid question. The much more I think about it, the much I question my sanity. My sanity drops, because of that question. Sometimes, you can't fully understand the concept of actually being 'okay'.

I stared at my blank paper, as I thought about the people that are insane. They aren't okay, but they been asked by the stupid nurses and doctors repeadtly. I thought about Joker, from Batman. How I always wondered why he wanted everyone to have a smile on their faces, because it's the best way to avoid that question. With a smile on your face, you can lie to everyone around you, that you're okay. But, in the inside, your crying because of the lack of sanity you have because of how fake you feel.

I couldn't help it. I had broken down, crying silently. Covering my face with my hands, as I shook. I felt a soft touch on my arm, I didn't pull away nor did I pulled my hands away from my face. "Hey...Gerard, calm down..." I heard Frank's soothing voice, but I paid no attention to it. All I hear is the inside. My own quiet sobs, I couldn't help it. I don't understand life. I never did. But, if I ever do...I hope it's something to actually live for.

~

That was a deep chapter...To be honest, I hate that question. Also, I don't know if that's really why Joker wanted everyone to have a smile on their faces, its just a theory which helps prove my point. My stupid point. So...I been kind of feeling what Gerard is feeling like, mix of emotions, and questions of life, and the hatred I stand for the question. Sometimes I hate saying it, because it makes me feel fake. It feels like, I don't actually mean it. I don't know, may be just me. But, maybe comment if you agree? I apologize if I had...Hurt several people reading this chapter. Don't worry, it hurt me too. I'm sorry, I don't reply to messages or comments, I maybe suffering with a mental breakdown. Because of that, I want to be alone. At same time, not. It's confusing. But, I hope you guys have a great day...And I love you all, and farewins.

~XoxDerpyMyChem