My Everything//James Franco A.U

Chapter 33

Amanda's P.O.V

I stayed the night at James house, he didn't say much and it honestly scared me. James was supposed to be loud and annoying and I say annoying because that's what he likes to do is annoy people, especially me.

Yet, he was completely silent. He fell asleep as soon as I confirmed my stay.

"So, can you stay?" He sniffled.

His red eyes looked at me with no hope, I gave me a sad smile and nodded my head yes. He sighed and took my jacket off while I kicked my shoes off.

"Amanda." He groaned laying his head in my lap.

"Yes?" I said softly.

He was already asleep, quietly snoring.

His mom came in not long after and offered me some food, I nicely declined not that she cared she left it on the bedside table. A plate for me and a plate for James.

I slipped James head off of my lap and got one of his shirts. I put that on and took my pants off, I searched for his sweats finding them quickly putting them on faster.

I have never been so infatuated with someone in my entire life.

Wow, never thought I'd say that.

I went into the bed and turned the t.v on. I grabbed the plate of food and started to eat, I laughed quietly as someone said a joke. That laughing soon turned to crying and the next thing I knew. . . I was stuffing food into my mouth while crying. So, this is how I handle my problems. . . I see no problem in it.

"Baby, why are you crying?" James groaned.

"I'm not!" I mumbled, food still in my mouth.

How does this guy like me? I'm not attractive what so ever- I'm talking with my mouth full! My eyes puffy and my sobs sounded like whale's having birth.

"Don't cry." He cooed.

I noticed his hand slowly going to my plate. I rolled my eyes and stuffed a fry in his mouth earning a smile from him.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Hey! I'm tired." I let out a fake yawn.

"Mhm, come here." He opened his arms.

I laid against him with his legs tangled with mine, arms around his body like his wrapped around mine tightly, his head rested on top of mine. I cried silently into his shirt, I knew why, he knew why, so why not?

I fell asleep about an hour later, then woke up two hours later. I stayed awake because I couldn't fall back asleep, although I had my entertainment. James would hug me tighter and tighter then let go all together, not even a second later he would grab back onto me. It kept me entertained for a while.

Around four in the morning, I heard James' mom get ready for work. I listened to her walk around the house and even when she walked to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she came out probably finished her makeup and put her heels on. They clicked against the wooden floors as she walked around.

I know all of this and all I did was listen. Not a lot of things people do now a days, we'll think we're paying attention yet when it's important we're lost. Everyone wonders why people say "No one cares about me!" Well maybe because it's true. Sure you can ask about someone's day and listen yet are we really paying attention? We don't need them to go into detail or hang onto every word, but maybe there's valuable information in a simple sentence. Yeah, some people do care yet we don't always think. It's just no one actually listens. I care, but I don't always listen. Truth be told I haven't listened much lately and now it's back firing, I really wished I listened.

I miss Sarah, I hate to admit to the fact that i'm sad she's gone yet it's true. I am in pain and it hurts, I hate it so much. I'm not an emotional person so when I can actually admit that i'm hurt I realize it's something serious or I actually care. I didn't listen to Sarah, I didn't pay attention to what she was implying when she said she loved me or goodbye. Now she's gone.

"Amanda?" I looked up and noticed Betsy staring at me with a worried look on her face.

"Yes?" I said groggily, sitting up a bit.

"Uh, are you okay?" She asked.

"Y-Yeah i'm fine." I smiled.

I probably look like a frog.

"Uh, well i'm going to work please take care of him. This is really tough for him and I know he's hurt and I have trust in you." She pleaded.

"Of course." I sat up.

"Okay, did you sleep at all?" She frowned.

"Yeah! Just woke up early." I lied.

"Oh well, go back to sleep?" She said questionably.

"I'll try." I chuckled and laid down.

James had his mouth open a bit , soft snores coming out and his hair a mess on his head. His lips were pink and his eyes painfully red, his skin a bit pale , his hair was a little greasy.

We're both fucked up, I thought.

He's no good.

Yeah, but i'm no better...

My boyfriend is insane, loud, insanely loud. He's funny, social butterfly you can say, but he is a trouble maker. He has a dark side to him like all of us, it comes triggered though.

I am, insane, unsocial, only loud around certain people, I hate myself dearly, I have a good side, but my bad side is easily able to come out. I have a dark side and much like James it's triggered.

We are both crazy.

He needs me because he's going crazy, I will hold off my crazy to fix him. This boy means the world to me and I hate to see him this way. I guess you don't know what you got till it's gone and pain is just the consequence of love. We're going through our own hell and together we have no good, but he is my everything.

I'm not letting him go, not now, not ever.

"You are my everything." I whispered to him.