My Everything//James Franco A.U

Chapter 16

Amanda's P.O.V

I laid in bed and thought about James laying next to me. I tuned onto my right side and cuddled a pillow. I'm in to deep, I thought.

My walls are coming down. The walls that took years of pain to be created are crumbling down within the second. I want to trust James yet there's a feeling that he's gonna leave, when he leaves I know all of me is gone.

In too deep.

I felt my phone vibrate next to me, it's him. I know it is. No one besides Sarah messages me. The sad truth. I looked at what he sent me and ignored his good night message.

The next morning I ignored his message offering to pick me up. I didn't want to go to school so I told my dad I wasn't feeling well and he told me which pills to take and what to eat.

I laid in bed thinking, something I have been doing a lot now. I feel myself stressing over nothing. He stresses me out but for what? For my silly thoughts or the sickening truth? This is going to hurt more than breaking a bone, more than losing a friend. This boy has attached to me and sadly I won't let him go, but when I have too... that is going to hurt like hell.

Maybe if I give him some space then my decision will be based on his actions. If he doesn't give up on trying to see me and talk to me then that's a good thing. If he gives up with in a certain amount of days then I know what his intentions were. Maybe isolation will be a good thing, or not.

"What am I going to do?" I asked my self.

I buried my face into my pillow and inhaled deeply feeling my chest tighten a bit. I waved it off and exhaled feeling the same tightness. It's time likes these that kill me, I think while getting up and grabbing my inhaler from my bed side table were it was next to my lamp. Taking two puffs I placed it back in it's box stuffing it into a drawer then went to the bathroom.

My back has been hurting recently and I have to talk to my dad about it. He's starting to work more and it's getting me worried because he's starting to look more and more tired, stressed. It's a miracle if I see him with a bit of energy.

My phone rang bringing me out of my thoughts. "Hello?" I said calmly.

"Hey!" Sarah's voice sang. She sounded a bit better.

"Sarah! How do you feel? You need me to come over?"

"I'm fine." She coughed nastily then sighed.

"Got like a bad flu huh?" I chuckled.

"Yeah." She giggled.

We talked for a good hour before she had to eat then rest for a bit. I watched a movie on Netflix with a bowl of pasta and a bottled water.

"It's grease lightning!!" I sang along.

My phone rang again and I answered it with out a second thought. "Amanda! Where are you?!" James voice yelled.

Well so much for ignoring him.

I stayed quiet and slowly put the phone down hanging up in the process. "Isolation is good.." I told myself.

Through out the day, James kept sending me messages till five then I went to work Sarah's shift going to her house with some soup and medicine. "Thank you again sweetie." Her mom smiled.

"It's not problem." I waved it off given Sarah the tips.

"You keep the tips! Your earned them." She said. Her face was pale and she looked weak. I didn't want to fight with her only because it would hurt her throat more and give her a small amount of stress. "Feel better." I hugged her giving her a small kiss on the cheek and waved to her mom.

I walked shivering as the night air hit me. I walked quickly passing by many other people trying to get home as well. I made it back safe and noticed a note taped to the door.

Amanda, ignoring me is not going to stop me from seeing you darling. -James xx

"That doesn't sound creepy at all." I shook my head unlocking the door and headed inside.

The week ended up being me going to school late and ignoring James in class, quickly going to the girls bathroom till the bell rings so I won't see him. He keeps sending me messages saying hew as sorry for what he did and i started to feel bad.

Today was different, he didn't message me, he didn't show up at all. It threw me off but he was probably letting me go like I knew he would.