My Everything//James Franco A.U

Chapter 37

It was raining, not too hard yet it wasn't a soft sprinkle either.

I really wanted things to be okay, but every time James left I was sad again. I was happy so happy when he was here, I forgot about everything. Then he leaves and I remember everything I was upset about , it pains me to repeat this cycle.

That's why I'm here , right now, in my bathtub with my clothes on just laying in the ice cold water. For some reason I wanted to be numb, I looked at my side and noticed my phone , but I also noticed pills. I reached for them instead.

"Pretty little pill, so small , designed for good, but used for wrong. I hold about twenty of you in my palm, you'll take away the wrong. I smile while holding you and place one in my mouth swallowing one after the other in hopes to be free, I know you'll help me." I whispered.

One after the other I swallowed them, quickly.

I felt like someone was watching me, I looked around yet saw no one. I felt very sleepy.

Then I started to think, what is James gonna do while I'm away?

Probably move on to a new girl.

He wouldn't do that, James loves me.

No one loves you till you're dead. Put a flower on your grave so you can be pretty for once, maybe take your head out of that book and have fun for once.

"Amanda?!" I heard a familiar voice yell.

I looked up and noticed Sarah. I smiled at her and reached my hand out to her, she held it smiling.

"Sarah?" I whispered.

"Hi baby, what's got you so blue?" She frowned.

"I'm tired, I ruin everything. It's best if I lay here." I told her.

"What about James?" She scooted closer to me.

I noticed how the water of the bathtub didn't really move and she had her knees against her chest. She had her grey sweater and jeans, she loved this outfit more than anything.

"He'll move on."

"Trust me, he's just as gone as you. You think he's happy because when you're with him you help him forget. Yet , when you leave he's back to sad. He needs you. You need him. " she smiled.

"Sarah you heard what everyone says, I'm good."

"No." She shook her head with a pout on her lips.

"Yes."

"No."

We bickered on for a while then I took a good look at her. I sighed and leaned forward holding her hand just a bit tighter, it was warm and small . I would always make fun of her little hands yet mine weren't any larger.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if it was me that was sick and not you?" I asked her.

"No. I'm glad it wasn't you, you have a lot coming for you kid." She looked at our hands.

"I think this is it." I told her.

"Yeah, it is. Remember what I said , I have high hopes for you my love. Please remember the good times we had, let James know that it's okay." She kissed my fore head and I smiled sadly at her.

"This is my mom!" Sarah shouted.

"Hello!" I waved awkwardly.

"Hi darling, it's cold outside ! Come in! Come in!" She handed me a cup of hot chocolate.

"My mom makes the best hot chocolate ever!" She smiled.

For a second I thought I was being drugged then I tried it. It tasted like creamy milk chocolate , it was warm and sweet. I hummed and drank more of it, Sarah laughed and ate a brownie. She played a Christmas movie and we laid back on her couch.

"You know I love you right?" Sarah told me.

"We just met." I told her.

"I'd die for you my love!!" She set her cup down and tackles me.

I laughed and hit her with the couch pillows.

"Sarah?"  I hiccuped.

"Yes, what's wrong my love?"  She said from over the phone.

"My mom! S-She .. I just want her to want me too!" I cried

" hold on my love i'm coming!" She yelled and with in the next five minutes she was at my house.

I cried on her shoulder for two hours, she hugged me tightly whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

"I just wished she'd want me too! I'm just not good enough for her!" I cried.

"Your amazing and you don't need her trust me , I love you."

We ran faster than I've ever ran and I stopped for a breath. She looked at me worried and I glared at her.

"We could have died because of your smart mouth." I glared.

Sarah mouthed off to some people who whistled at us instead of just ignoring them and walking away. They started to follow us and was ready to fight. We ran.

"Hey! This is just another story for our future kids when they're best friends too! They'll say our moms are cool!"

"Amanda!" Someone shouted.

I gasped for air realizing I was just laying there.

"Hello?" James voice was coming from my phone.

"Hello?" I told him trying not to cry.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine."

"Amanda?" he questioned.

"I love you, so much."

"I'm outside." He told me.

"Nobody's home." I hung up.

I heard the door open and looked at my hands they were pink, kinda like they were getting colder. The bathroom door opened just as I put my head under the water, I was immediately brought up.

A/N I made that quote myself, I'm slightly proud.