Sometimes things are hard [personal Journal]

Back to school drama

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bad person. It's been a week sense we came back to school, and so much shit has already happened.😣

All my friends are having a great life, but me...

I'm stuck here trying to get out of this hole I've gotten myself into. It feels the more I try to get out, the farther I sink back in.

I want to say "I'm sorry" to everyone that's angry with me, but words never seem to come out right.

And my crush???
Don't get me started. I never thought that I'd think about someone as much as I think about him. It scares me sometimes. I think about him sometimes, and there are times when I find myself wondering where he is or what he's doing. I have to subconsciously distract myself from thinking about him. And it was working, I stopped thinking about him and went on normally.....until.....today.

I've never had a dream about a crush before. It's so weird. I feel like I can't do anything or go anywhere without thinking of him for at least a second. I want of forget about him, but I can't.

Is this normal?!?!
I know the answer is no.

All I have to say is: I just wish I could understand what's going on.