Dreamer (Larry Stylinson) - EN

Chapter 13 - Nice Name

Louis

„So how do you want to start?" Harry asks when we reach in the gym. I examine each machine carefully. I don't recognize half of them, neither do I know how to use them...

„I don't know." I answer sheepishly, receiving an ugly glance. Since I asked about that mysterious room X, it's like I came back to the first day of meeting him. His eyes darken and his whole body is in some tense. He has a very hard glare and it's scary. Yes, I am scared of him, but at the same time, it attracts me incredibly.

„For the beginning, treadmill," he says and starts to tap something to the display. I come over slowly and step on carefully, watching Harry's fingers. Seconds later the machine makes me start walking slowly and speed up gradually.

Without saying a word he removes himself to something what is supposed to train your hands apparently. I'm glad that I can run first, it helps me to organise my thoughts.
I watch his arm muscles stretch and his chest rise and fall. I'm back in my dreams. It's crazy how much is this Harry different from that 'dreamy' one. I can tell that physically, they are perfectly equal, stunning bodies and beautiful facial features. Mentally, they couldn't differ more. While one is so kind and nice, the other one is arrogant and smug. His presence drives me insane sometimes and not in a good way. And right in that moment, I'm batteling with myself, because my body says yes while brain says no.

I consider myself being very ready for a therapy. I try to turn my mind off, focus all of my attention on the work, failing in the second I look up.

He's doing that on purpose, he surelly is doing that on purpose. He took off his shirt, so I can see droplets of sweat on his bare torso, listening to the heavy breaths, while he's lifting a dumbbell. I pray to god for not losing control.

I examine each of his tattoos, each muscle, each shape of his body. My cells scream orgasmicaly craving for a closer look and I must bite my tongue to at least partly disperse my concentration.

Suddenly Harry turns his head, noticing my glance immediately. I quickly remove my eyes somewhere else, altough that doesn't stop him from walking straight over to me. I can feel his body's heat warming mine. He's sliding up and down his eyes all over me, looking for anything to criticise.

„Thats enough." he says vigorously, pushing the button, due to which the machine starts to slow down until it stops completely. „Come." I watch his broad shoulders further and follow him afterwards.

He bends down to the dumbbell, taking off some weight. „You should be able to lift it." He steps back, watching me grip and lift the metal pole with my both hands. My arms muscles stretch and lift it to my face, I can do it, but not without a trouble. I can see him glancing at me peripherally, and suddenly become much more nervous.

„How many times?" I ask while reapeting the process for the second time already.

„To your maximum." I would like to know, how does he look right now, but I can't, because Im uable to turn my head. With the tenth repeat I feel like I reached my maximum.

„Tomlinson, don't be a piece of shit, come on, more." the loud and strict voice echoes. His fingers grip slightly the middle of the pole, making it easier for me. I close my eyelids tightly, trying to ingore the pain paralyzing my arms, noticing my chest rise and fall with every loud inhale and exhale. I give up with the fifteenth time, placing the dumbbell on the ground. I look up and see Harry licking his lips. Wait, what? In the second he notices my glance, his face changes to the unavailable and hard one once again.
„That was the first set, two more left."

~~~~

„18... 19... 20..," Harry's voice echoes in the gym room, counting my chin-ups. „Tomlinson, c'mon...21."

I am asking myself: How much desperate my life is, that I let him torture me voluntarilly, just because I fall for an absolutely sense missing and naive imagination of changing him. That this person can be different. Why don't I just listen to my sanity and don't end up with this all. I wanted to start over, but how many more new begginings do I have to experience to be finally happy. God knows where would I be now, if didn't have these dreams. I might have found a job a there someone, who would finally understand to me and make me happy.

Instead, rivers of sweat are flowing from me, just to make up this man's ego. A person, for who I only am a machine for satisfaction, and who means to me much more than he should. I'm supposed to hate it, yet somehow, I can't do so, I can't make myself to hate him, I can't find any sign of actual hatred in me. Maybe if I did, I would find enough power to finally leave him, push him off, abandon him and change my life. This time for real.

„Work up." He practially shouts and I, instead of pulling my body up to the pole once more, end up on the ground, exasperated, on the edge of my death. „You suck." He shakes his head in despise. „We're done for today."

~~~~

„What are you doing tonight?" The hoarse voice echoes in the hallway when I walk out of the bathroom, showered and dressed up. I'm more than ready to leave.

I glance at him and because of the height difference must lean backwards lightly. Two green eyes are watching me, giving me goose bumps and sending shivers. So dark yet shiny at the same time. So empty but full of emotions. So cold yet still heating. They seem to mingle two personalities. As much as it's frightening, I cannot deny that it's also fascinating and seductive.

„Going to a bar with friends." Why did I says that? It's none of his bussiness.

„You do have friends?" Auch, that hurt. „Or do you mean that clown Niall and his little pals?" How can someone take down so many people in just two sentences? Still, sadly, his over confidence and arogance play on his sexy-note much more that on the uninviting one. I wonder if he realises.

„You don't need to care about that." I frown, because I feel like, this is really a little too much, it's truly none of his bussiness.
How it'll show up later, it can get much worse.

I don't wait for his reaction and head the course I think that the garages are. I don't look back, because I know, that once I would, all of my attempts to don't idealize him would fail miserably. If I would turn around right now, I'd see his stretching muscles and clanching jaw, his burning eyes and sharp features. I wouldn't resist him and he would've had me back under his power. I can't let that happen, not today.

„Tomlinson, are you that silly, or you can't just remember that you are supposed to wait for me, always, mainly when it's in my own house?! You should be honored that I took you here." He says and I stop, but don't look behind. Such words are too arrogant even for him.

„Maybe you should get you ego just a little down, mister Styles." I murmone under my breath, so he can't hear me.

He walks past by and nudgges me harshly with his shoulder, all right, he might have heard me afterall...

Eventually I breath in and follow him, maybe it's truly a mystake, that I'm still here and that I didn't leave when I still could. Today I had signed a binding contract for one year.

~~~~

With Niall by my side, we walk into a world full of lights and loud music. Night clubs and bars have always fascinated me, because you can never really find so much energy at one place anywhere else.

I pull the memory of Paris with Harry to the back of my mind, it was the first time (and I fear that also for the last time), when he was at least partly similar to the 'my Harry' from my dreams. That reminds me, that at the first opportunity, I will make him take those pills once again...

„Hey, there they are!" Niall nudges me with his shoulder pointing at his friends, I notice one of them, who has his arms tattooed heavily and a little exotic colored skin. The second one has his skin very light and hair black as coal, ice blue eyes shining strongly in the poor lighting of the club. I must admit, he looks good, his shoulders partly covered by thin straps of black tight top, emphasizing his muscles. He's undoubtfully attractive.

„Hello, I'm Zayn." Says the first one when we come over to them and sit down.

„Louis."

„Nice name." Says the other one suddenly, making me bate my breath when I hear his velvet voice. „By the way, I'm Christian."