No Wings To Fly

Chapter Eighteen

I was so nervous that day when I woke up. My first date, July 8, 2014.

 I didn't need to volunteer for extra credit anymore. But, I did volunteer for one reason now. Sam. When I was home, I couldn't concentrate on anything at all. And when I got to the hospital, things were a hundred percent worse. 

I had already gone to the hospital bathroom several times to look in the mirror by the time I had to start my rounds. I always had something to fix, critique. My hair, my shirt, my smile. It was hard to breathe thinking of her. So beautiful, and I was just...me. 

"Relax." I told myself. "It's just Sam."

Although I told myself this, I was still racked with nerves. My hands, my legs, my entire body shook. And I wasn't sure if it was just from how nervous I was or from the excitement. 

I made sure to visit all of the other patients before Sam, so we could have all night together. From room to room I went, counting down until I would see Sam. I couldn't wait.

When I finally reached Sam's door, I hesitated for a full minute before opening it. My palms were sweaty and I kept rehearsing all the things I would say to her when I saw her. But when I opened the door, all of the words disappeared from my mouth. I just stared.

"Hey, pill boy." Sam stood in the doorway, already waiting for me.

"Hey, just Sam." I gave her my lopsided grin, the one I knew she loved.

Sam was breathtaking. She wore a beautiful white, flowered dress that fit her personality perfectly. Her shoes were lime green flats and her hair was tied up into a beautiful braided bun. The most beautiful part though was her. Her smile. Her eyes. Her lips.

Wait? Why was I thinking of her lips? I looked away briefly to calm myself.

She examined me as well. My light blue collared shirt, my tan pants, my hair, my face.

"Are you ready, Jay?" She asked me.

He eyes were full of excitement for the night ahead of us. 

"Yeah." I wasn't.

Sam reached her hand out and I took it. A breath of relief escaped me and I suddenly wasn't so worried. Now, it was just us.

We had only known each-other for about eight weeks, but I somehow felt a strong connection to her like I needed to protect Sam. I squeezed her hand, so thankful to give her this, so thankful to just be with her. She beamed at my side as I led her out of the hospital door. The warm July air beckoned us further. I brought her around the back of the hospital to behind the garden, where the forest started. 

She gasped and let go of my hand, running forward. "Oh, Jay! It's perfect!"

Before us sat a little picnic, my mother's set. A classic plaid blanket lay atop the grass and upon it, our meal. When she turned back around, I laughed at her expression. In my hands I held a giant bouquet of flowers. She grabbed them and gave a big sniff.

Sam reminded me of a little kid now, the way she carried herself. I loved it. 

Sam bit her lip in a cute way. "So, what's for dinner?"

I smiled shyly. "Sandwiches... I'm sorry. I'm not much of a cook. They are the only thing I can really make. There's some fruit too. And lemonade."

She laughed lightly. "Yum! Sounds good! Better than any hospital food."

We ate dinner for a long time, talking the day away. She kept smiling and laughing, not at all wincing. I was glad that I could take her out on a date like this. I was sure she would have never gotten the chance had I not asked her. Though she loved the picnic I had planned, Sam deserved so much more. So much more I would never have the chance to give to her.