No Wings To Fly

Chapter Twenty Six

Once we retrieved the tickets from my house, Sam insisted on eating Little Caesars for our picnic. I happily agreed as the alternative was a bunch of squished up sandwiches I had attempted to make. So, it was decided.

The entire way to Little Caesar's, Sam had the window down and was sticking her head out of it. She was so beautiful, inside and out. Especially on the inside. Sam had so much faith in me, and was so nice even if she didn't have any reason to be. 

I watched as her curly hair blew around the frame of her face. Her smile was there, as always. She was also so brave. With everything she was going through, facing death head on, I couldn't imagine... 

And right in that moment I remembered how thankful I was to have found her. On the first day Sam actually greeted me, the day Sam told me she was dying, I was severely depressed. Thoughts of suicide had seeped into my mind even. It was hard to even think back to then. But on that day when Sam had opened up to me, I got curious. I figured I should at least stay enough time to see if she was worth it, and Sam was. Every bit.

My days became consumed with thinking of her, thinking of ways to make her happy. And just as soon as that, I fell for her. I didn't know how I would keep my promise to her to help Sam stay alive. And I only had two months to think of a way. But I would do anything it took, even if it demanded big things from me.

After we picked up the pizza, we decided to eat it at a park. Sam insisted on driving there, but I politely declined her offer. After all, I wasn't in the mood to die today. 

We pulled up to the park and Sam dashed off with the pizza, settling down near a tree bridge over a river.

"I can't wait to see what you planned for today!"Sam took a giant bite of her pizza and closed her eyes in satisfaction.

"I can't wait either." 

Sam only took two bites of her pizza. Again, I noted how terribly thin Sam was. "Are you full already?" My voice was light, but underneath it was full of worry.

"Yeah. I've not had much of an appetite lately... that's okay, right?"

"Of course." I reached out to hold her hand.

When our hands met, hers were frigid cold despite the warm weather. I cupped both of my hands on hers in an attempt to warm Sam up.

"They are always cold. Its okay. Its just the lack of blood going to my hands from my heart since it is so weak and all."

I gave her a concerned look and she took her hands from mine. "I'm alright... talking about my cardiomyopathy. Its really just a part of my life and has been for years. Really. It's fine."

We were silent for a moment as I finished eating my pizza. 

"You know, Sam, you saved my life."

Sam flashed me a look as if to say, "Are you kidding me?"

"Before I met you, I was in a really rough spot-"

"Yeah. Your mom told me." Sam winced.

"Not everything... Sam, it was bad. You are probably the only reason I am still alive. I was so depressed, I actually planned out my suicide. It wasn't until I met you that I figured there was a reason to live. Sam, you are my reason to live. I'm not going to let that stupid sickness kill you." I leaned forward and gave Sam a giant hug. "I won't."

"You are my reason to live, too. Jay, there is something I never told you."

"What?"

"I have a dad."

"Oh."

"You don't understand. He is a criminal. My dad is who knows where in some prison far off. As awful as it was, my mom still found her reasons to love him. After he left my mom, that's when we figured out about my heart condition. And that's when my mom lost her job. When she got a new one, she decided to work at it as hard as she could to distract herself from her dying daughter and imprisoned husband. I was left there at the hospital alone and had all but given up hope. I guess you saved me too."

I sighed. "Every ounce of everything we have done together was worth it. Everything."

"I agree. You know what else I agree on?"

"What?"

A broad smile came over her face. "Going to wherever you are taking me right now."

"Deal."

Sam immediately raced to the car and got in, already bubbling over with excitement. I laughed to myself. When we pulled up to the carnival, her excitement multiplied. I actually had to remind Sam to calm down.

As soon as we arrived, she dragged me over to the Ferris wheel. Of course.

"Jay, come on!" She grabbed my hand and ripped me from the spot I was standing. "There is a freaking Ferris wheel! We have to go!"

"Alright. Whatever my girl wants." I ruffled her hair, something that usually would have made her frown, and she smiled.

I handed the man our tickets. "Two tickets for the young couple!" He sang, giving Sam a wink that made her blush.

"You hear that?" I elbowed Sam. "We're a couple!"

She grinned and pulled me into a seat. A few moments later, the ride started and Sam gripped my hand. "I'm gonna fly!"

I laughed. 

√ 2. Fly

We neared the top of the wheel now, and Sam drew in a breath. "Wow."

I turned to see what she was gawking over and smiled. It was a beautiful sunset, orange, pink and purple. 

"It's just like in the movies." She commented.

"Not quite yet..." I cupped her beautiful face in my hands and gave her a long kiss.

Her lips were warm and soft, perfect. When I opened my eyes, we were already at the bottom again and the ride had ended.

"What was that for?" She draped an arm over my chest.

I almost answered with something like, "Just because I can." But I stopped myself.

Why did I kiss her? I knew the answer without a doubt.

"Because, Sam, I'm desperately and completely in love with you."

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