The Bad Boy Effect

Chapter 35: Why Did You Pick Me?

I sit in the window seat of my room, holding my legs to close to my chest as I stare out the window of my bedroom. I try and watch the trees and smile as I watch the neighborhood kids play outside, but I can't. I can't think of anything except for Kallie and how I almost killed her.

When she lifted her gun to shoot, I shot mine first. It went into her side. Obviously, the police filed it as self defense. Case closed. Kallie will live but she was in critical condition. Had I jumped or even sneezed, I would have killed her. The bullet was two centimeters away from her lung. Arran held me as I watched in horror when the paramedics put her on a gurney. Apparently the reason Arran left was because Robbie and Sarah heard Kallie scream and then a gun go off. Arran was trying to protect me me by making me stay at the house. 

I feel my eyes water a little bit as I replay what I did. I was so close to becoming a killer. A monster. I wanted to protect Arran, but it wasn't even Arran who walked through the door. It was Sarah. I bury my face in my arms. I did it without hesitation. No normal person would do it without hesitation. They all would have second guessed themselves. Why didn't I?

I hear my door open but I don't turn my head. I continue to stare out the window.

"Emma, honey." I hear my dad's soothing voice. "I'm going to go get some lunch with Cole. Do you want to come along?" he asks softly.

I don't answer. I stare out my window. I hear dad sigh. "We'll get you a burger." And with that, he closes the door.

I sigh and look out of my window, a single tear falling down my face. It's as light as a feather, but it's full of sorrow and guilt. There's two reasons I feel guilty. One is because I shot her without hesitation; the second is because I know I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I hear a loud chugging noise, one that can only come from a 67' Harley. I watch as the motorcycle pulls into my driveway and the person on top of it parks it. He pushes the kickstand down, sets his helmet on top of it, and then disappears out of sight.

I haven't seen Arran since Saturday. It's now Thursday. I've been ignoring everyone for five days. It's like my mother's death all over again. Fuck, now I'm thinking about her. Her funeral is this weekend and I don't think I can bear it. Cole and dad picked out her coffin on Tuesday. It's a nice oakwood coffin with light pink velvet on the inside. Cole showed me the photos even though I stared at them blankly.

It's hard not having her here. I have thought a lot about what she would have done in my situation. Would she have been mad at me, or would she have understood? Would she be scolding me right now, or holding me close? Or would she be too drunk to care?

I hear Arran's voice shout my name and I feel the tears streak down my face.

"Emma!" he shouts again.

"I'm... up here!" I shout back. I hear loud thuds and then my door slams open. Arran rushes over and wraps me up in his arms tightly.

"Don't you ever ignore me again." he says softly as he holds me close.

I kind of stand there as he hugs me as it takes a second for me to process. He's here. Hugging me. I feel some warmth light up inside of me and I find myself hugging him back. The tears escape me before I can stop them and Arran doesn't stop me. He holds me close and kisses me on my forehead. He moves over to the bed and pulls me onto his lap.

"I could've killed her," I cry. "I could have killed her."

"Sh, Emma." he says softly. "It's okay. She's going to be okay."

He rocks me back and forth softly and I hug him tightly. "I was two centimeters away from being a monster."

He holds me back. "You will never be a monster." he says as he stares me in the eyes. "Never. You were protecting your friends and yourself."

He slides his thumbs under my eyes and kisses me softly. I kiss him back, stuffing all of my emotion into that little kiss.

"I missed you," I say quietly.

"I missed you too baby." he says as he rubs my hair softly. "I missed you too."

After a shower. Which was much needed, I get dressed in some black leggings and a black sweater that says 'Meow'. I slide on some fuzzy socks and then I get back on my bed. He's scrolling through his phone as I take him in. He's wearing a white V-neck and some dark jeans with his black converse. I smile a little. I've missed my bad boy.

I slowly walk over to the bed and he looks up at me. "Hey beautiful."

I smirk and crawl onto his lap. "Hello, handsome." I say as I kiss his lips softly.

He reacts within record time, kissing me back softly and resting his hands on my hips. He rubs his thumbs in circles on my exposed skin where the sweater is lifting up. I run my fingers through his hair as I lick his bottom lip slowly, asking for entrance and he obliges. I silently thank god that I remembered to brush my teeth.

His hand slowly slides up my back, his fingers brushing against my spine. It sends tingles of desire throughout my entire being and that hunger reappears. I've had this hunger twice before and I know that there is only one thing that will feed it. I sit up and slowly pull his shirt off, revealing his tanned six pack. I run my fingers down it softly, his stomach tensing at my touch. I trace his V-line and then I slowly slide my hands back up, savoring the feeling of his skin.

He closes his eyes and tries to steady his breaths and I giggle.

"Am I affecting you, sweetheart?" I smirk. He opens his eyes and smirks back at me as he sits up.

"Why, yes you are." he whispers, his lips brushing against my ears. "And I like it."

I grin from ear to ear and our lips crash against each others as I let the hunger take over once again.

***

I lie down on the bed, Arran's arms wrapped around me. I turn over and grin at him. "Have you been practicing?" I say as I smile stupidly.

"Definitely," he says winking.

I roll my eyes at him. Our breaths are finally calming down and I snuggle into his neck. I trace his stomach with my finger one a thought comes to mind.

"Arran," I whisper.

"Yes shorty?" he asks as he looks down at me.

"Why did you pick me?" I ask softly.

He furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you pick me to have a bet with?"

He chuckles. "Because I liked you."

I roll over onto my arm. "Really?"

He nods his head. "Yes, really."

"So you've had feelings for me this whole time?" I grin.

"Now you're catching on," he chuckles.

I raise my eyebrow and smirk at him. "So I won the bet as soon as it was made?"

"Shorty you won the bet before we even started talking."

I bury my face in his chest as it turns red. Another thought comes to mind.

"How long have you liked me?" I ask.

He sighs. "Let's see," he mumbles some random things that I can't hear. "Since the third grade."

I gape at him. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not. I promise." he says smiling. "As soon as I saw you walk on that bus with that blue dress and that blue ribbon in your brown hair... I was a goner."

I chuckle. "I love you."

He grins widely at me. "I love you too, shorty."