Unstable lovers

Chapter twenty one

LUKES P.O.V
I didn't want her to find out like this. I finally had someone who cared for me and it's all just gonna be thrown away. I can't loose her she's all I'm living for right now. I deserve to die. She will definatley leave me now and I can't deal with that. I'm such an idiot. She will never be able to look at me the same again. Oh my god I'm such a coward.
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LILLY'S P.O.V
He looked down at the steering wheel in an attempt to not make eye contact with me.
"Luke!" I say causing him to look at me.
"Just talk to me please. I don't understand, what the hell do you mean you killed your best friend?!" I say.

He lets out a sigh and wipes away a tear that was running down his face. 
"His name was Ashton, we had known eachother since we were younger and he was like my brother." He started.
" we used to always go to this treehouse that my dad built for us when we were 7, and one day my head took over me and I took some pills and went up there with some vodka ready to drink it. I'd had enough and thought the world was better off without me. Ashton found me and tried to stop me and we started to fight. I left and went home but I was still feeling really suicidal and I felt like doing something reckless..." His voice trailed off and he began to cry again. "I went back later that night and set the treehouse on fire in anger, but I didn't know he was in there Lilly. I didn't know... Until I heard the screams and the choking. He must have stayed there the night. But I didn't help him. I ran. I left him to die and if I hadn't of acted so stupid then he would still be here. I should be the one dead not him! I wish he had of left me that night and let me die instead," he says and begins to cry even harder.

I was so shocked i didn't know what to say.

"Luke I... I'm so sorry. Please don't say that, it was an accident you weren't to know he was in there." I say as I rub circles on his shoulders trying to calm him.

"But I wish I was dead."

"But I don't luke. You can't blame yourself for an accident." I said trying my hardest to make it better. I've always been rubbish in these kinds of situations.

"He didn't deserve to die!"

"No one does. But it wasn't your fault,"

"But I left him to die. I could have helped him but I ran." He cried.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Why you didn't do anything wrong?"

"I don't know I just feel awful, can we please go home?" I say.

"Sure," he says as he wipes his eyes and starts the engine.

When we arrive home I say goodnight to him and run upstairs to my room. Darren and Michael are waiting for me wanting to know how it went but as soon as they see me they immidiatley know something's not right.

"Lilly? If he's hurt you I'll break his neck!" Michael says as him and Darren pull me into a group hug.

"And I'll break his back," Darren adds.

"No he hasn't hurt me it's all fine," I say struggling to get my words out.

"Don't lie to me Lilly, you know that won't work," Michael says as he looks at me questioningly waiting for an answer.

"I found something out that I didn't want to know ok, let him tell you it's not my secret to tell." I say as I pull away from the hug and walk to my room.

So these past few chapters were a bit more eventful. I hope you enjoyed them and I'll update again soon.