BTS - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life

Chapter 8

   Jimin's POV

   "Hyung, just tell me. Please?" 

   "Tell you what? There's nothing to say."

   "Please? I know you're hiding something."

   Hoseok sighed, and then twiddled his thumbs -again- for the nth time. "Jimin-ah, I don't think you're ready..."

   "Fine." I stood up and started to leave where we were sitting, back at the pier where we all were last completely together.

   Hoseok didn't come after me. No rushing footsteps, no calling pleas, no advising words, nothing. That was unusual, for he usually did things like that - Hobie hyung always had a soft heart. But now our dear friend was gone, and even the maknae, Jungkook, could not shut reality out.

   If Hoseok didn't tell me what was troubling his mind, I was going to find out for myself.

   Half an hour later, I was searching through the college dorm that Hoseok hyung and I shared, looking for even the slightest sign of what he had witnessed. Every single nook and cranny was combed over, but there was only dust to be found. However, there was one area I promised not to tough - Hoseok's desk drawer.

   "I'm sorry," I whispered as I pulled on the drawer's circular knob.

   Inside was a small journal with a worn green cover. There was no title, but it still made sense. Hoseok hyung usually let his feelings out by writing things he saw and didn't want to remember. On this hunch, I flipped the pages of the book until my fingers brushed against the latest entries. 

   April 28, 2015~

   Taehyung's funeral was today. All of us mourned for him. Even Yoongi hyung was crying. Must I say anything else?

   April 29, 2015~

   We all had a "party" to try to forget about what happened at that time. It was all right - somehow we managed to think Taehyung was somehow with us. But after it ended, Jungkook and Yoongi had a fistfight - and Yoongi showed Jungkook no mercy...

   I sank to the floor, my whole body trembling. April 29th was just a day ago! Were Jungkook and Yoongi still fighting, or had it gotten even worse? Why didn't Hoseok tell me this?

   "Jimin-ah, I don't think you're ready..."

   Well, we were now even. I had been hiding something, too. The thing, that I now took out of my pocket, was a note. A suicide note. I suicide note from Taehyung, written about 3 weeks ago. I didn't say much - just that "I don't think I can hold on much longer..." - but I thought it was some type of prank. I had been too late, and now Taehyung had left us.

   No, scratch that. I wanted to believe the note didn't exist. I wanted to believe that Taehyung was still in this world without us. I wanted to believe that we were still in our beautiful moments in life.

   Before I knew it, I was sitting in our dorm's bathtub, snapping out of some trance that got me here. In my left hand was a lighter, and in my right was the note. Putting two and two together, I set fire to the already yellowing scrap of paper.

   Now, to me, the note was only a burning piece of parchment. Preventing my hand from catching the flame, I hesitantly dropped the paper onto the tile floor. The fire went out, leaving charred holes in the sheet.

   But my attempt was in vain. I just... couldn't...

   The last thing that I remembered was turning the faucet on, letting the cool water rise to the top of the bathtub, up to my chest. Then, I heard a voice in my head:

   Jimin hyung... Any time now...

   Taehyung-ah?

   Yup. Are you coming?

   Here I go - soon, Taehyung, soon!

   Finally, finally, finally knowing we could reunite with one another, I freed myself of my malingering memories, sinking down... down... down...