BTS - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life

Chapter 9

   Hoseok's POV

   It was the second funeral, and this time everyone cried openly. The elderly, the young, us, our friends, our family, everybody. Two of us were dead now - the ones that could usually cheer us up if something like this happened. Me, I was too desolate to become the "ball of sunshine and smiles" I once was.

   If only five of us were left, then how would we ever be ourselves again? That was how down I felt, looking at Jimin's ebony coffin one last time before it was buried next to Taehyung's grave. My brothers and I placed fresh white lilies on their headstones and then soberly left.

   I went back to the dorm Jimin and I shared, staring silently at the now drained bathtub where I found his body. I made sense - he would be the first of us to break - but there was something off.

  Why were there ashes on the floor?

   I leaned down to scoop the tiny flecks from the tiles and at last noticed a small, burned, delicate piece of paper in the midst of the black particles. Picking it up, I read:

   Jimin,

   I'm sorry but I'm not sure that I will be in this world any longer - my end has come... I don't think I can hold on much longer - death will come to me soon. But because of recent events, it may happen more quickly. I'm so sorry. Please understand.

                                                                                                                                           -Taehyung

   No. No. No. Why did he hide this from us? From me? We promised...

   But then again, I had the little journal. Jimin must have seen it, otherwise this wouldn't have happened. Basically, that meant I was the part of the cause of his death. My writings, my intolerance, my hiding... those things made him collapse. The best friend I've ever had was now dead, and it was all my fault.

   I finally comprehended the fact, but it was too much to digest. My heartbeat came to a halt abruptly, and I collapsed on the spot.

                                                                                 -     -     -     -     -     -     -

  Beep... Beep... Beep...

   A heart rate monitor. How did I get to the hospital?

   "Mr. Jung Hoseok,are you all right?" asked a clinical female voice.

   I replied with a yes and sat up. "Where am I... Why am I here?"

   Ten minutes later, a doctor at last declared that due to some recent shocks which caused lack of sleep, and this caused my heartbeat to slow down. He gave me some pills to help speed it up, told me not to worry, and got me out of the building in no time.

   The entire process was too fast for me to handle, so as soon as I came back to my bed in the dorm, I fell on it, getting the rest I needed. It was 5 in the morning anyways.

-     -     -     -     -     -     -     

   Oh shoot, 12 P.M. - the pills!

   I shot out of bed and dashed to a cabinet over a sink, frantically searching for my medication - anything late was not good. Thankfully, the bottle of capsules was quickly found, and I slowed down in front of a mirror, gazing at my reflection. Tracing my gaunt face, it dawned on me that I barely ate since I found Jimin's body in the bathtub - but who cared? He was gone, my only best and true friend since childbirth.

   After pouring myself a glass of water, I grabbed as many pills as I could in my weakened state - three - and crammed them into my mouth.

   Ahh... much better.

   My heart started to beat faster, and although it seemed a little fast, it felt good to feel the blood coursing through my body. But I didn't realize that the doctor only said to take half a pill at a time...

-     -     -     -     -     -     -

   I was on a bridge, walking.

   Shouldn't have... shouldn't have... shouldn't have...

   My thoughts echoed in my head, chastising me for overdosing. But now, it was too late, so I chose to zone out while I had my last moments in this world. It was better that way.

   Abruptly, in the middle of my stroll, my mind came to a stop, and then spewing out thoughts faster than I could process-

   MurdersuicideTaehyungdadJimindeadfriendgonebestfriendhidnoteburnedhearbeatoverdosewhy...

   I fell onto the pavement, overwhelmed by my thoughts and my now pounding heart. Paralyzed, I lay there until a taxi driver found me and took me to the hospital, bumping quite a few things on the way. I was then rushed into an emergency room. It was fortunate, but there were only a few seconds left until my demise.

   And yet I was calm.

   The pain faded from my now cold body, and I slipped out of the living world.