FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ON WATTPAD - RANT!

Kiddy Fiddling

DEDICATION NOTICES: This chapter is dedicated to ShraManisAwesome for leaving a comment on my 'worst 1d fanfic on wattpad' book about things that annoy her in fanfics :) I'll be including them in this chapter. This is also dedicated to xxWolfluverxx. She literally leaves the most amazing comments on this rant book! Her comments are like the size of texas. She doesn't just leave one comment either - when I reply to her, she always replies back with yet another huge paragraph and I can't tell you how much her love, support and encouragement means to me! Thank you so much :) 

The enraged haters. Ok so I found a story on here that was dedicated to just ranting about why the author hates one direction’s girlfriends : | The author was complaining about how that new girl Liam is dating (what’s her name?) is a porn star and she’s ugly and it’s not true love; and if she was really his friend she would have been at his birthday; and she hates her and she wishes she would die and blah blah blah blah blah. First of all, his girlfriend is seriously stunning. Like I’m not gonna lie, she looks like a friekin model. Secondly, why the fuck is his relationship in any way your business? I understand not liking someone being in a relationship e.t.c. but do you really need to hate on an innocent girl that didn’t do anything wrong? Also, don’t speak about them as if you know either of them personally. If anything, you should admire the fact that he’s dating her because she’s normal and he knew her before the fame; rather than sleeping with tonnes of famous celebrities (because let’s face it, he’s in the world’s biggest boy band, he could get that ass all day erry day :P) If the author of that book is that much in love with Liam, then good luck to her, because no guy would want a girl that spiteful.

Unnecessary appearance descriptions. Ever description will be like: I curled my hair then put it up into an updo then pulled down a few strands to frame my heart shaped face and then teased some of the edges to volumize it and then I put on hot pink lipstick and then lined my lips with a hot pink lip liner and then put hot pink lipgloss over the top, and then I put on a cobalt blue shirt that clung to my curves and had a bow on the top right hand corner and patterns along the bottom right hand corner and it was assymettrical also and then I put on some dark blue levi's skinny curve ID jeans and then I put on some Ted Baker pumps that were like a cream colour with thirteen diamonds on the toe LIKE NOBODY CARES. ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS: I put on a blue top, pulled on some jeans and then slipped on my pumps before heading out of the door. NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY. FUCKING. CARES. Er me gehrd I went into screamo mode right there.

Unfinished stories. I don't mean stories that are still being uploaded, because I can understand authors need time to upload their stories. I get it when authors have a regular uploading schedule. But I mean the stories that are 'on hold' and some of them are like 'on hold, might not continue this' and it's been over a year since their last update. Like why? If you're going to write a story, have the decency to see it through to the end. If not, don't bother uploading it. It annoys me so much, maybe because I'm OCD when it comes to stories, but when it's unfinished and the author has no plans of finishing it, I get so irritated. LIKE STAHP. 

Loving the protagonist. This point was made by ShraManisAwesome and I whole heartedly agree (she mentioned these things about one direction) - why fuck do people always love the protagonist? Also, can't you just have a story where One Direction don't end up falling in love with the protagonist? Like why can't there just be ONE story on all of wattpad where one direction are like 'we don't know you peasant, fuck off'.

Why is it just one girl? Like why can't the fanfics be about more than one girl? Why does the protagonist always have to be the one to get every guy's attention? Stop being so greedy and at least learn to share, there's more than enough boys there for more than one fangirl.

Do friendships evade you? Why is everything a love story in fanfics? Where the fuck are the friendships? Not everybody wants to screw each other, you know. Some people can just be friends. I'd like to see a fanfic where Niall befriends a girl rather than humping her day and night.

He text me. TEXT. TEXT. FUCKING HELL, THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S MEANT TO BE WRITTEN. *TEXTED. *TEXTEEEEEEEDDDDDDD. YOU SEE HOW I ADDED AN 'ED' CAUSE IT'S FUCKING PAST TENSE? 'TO TEXT' IS TO DO SOMETHING IN THE PRESENT TENSE. "I'M GOING TO TEXT SOMEONE". SAYING "HE TEXT ME" DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING MAKE SENSE. HE TEXTED. TEXTED YOU MONGREL. TEXTED.

I SEE THIS EVERY FUCKING WHERE. NOT JUST WATTPAD, BUT EVERYWHERE. I wasn't going to write about this, but I saw it 6 times today and it's only 11am. fucking OMG. 

Sex stories about children. There was an entire BOOK on wattpad that I found this morning,(written by an ADULT) where it was literally story after story about children having sex. CHILDREN. Like I don't mean teenagers. I mean six year olds. Actual. Six year olds. Having. OH MY GOD. LIKE FUCKING JESUS CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU NASTY, DIRTY, DISGUSTING PARASITE. 

Oh my God I am SO done right now. 

KIDDY FIDDLERS. 

People that go overboard with original names. If you name your character april flower periwinkle, there is something wrong with you. I understand not wanting to name your character 'bob' and 'jane' but you don't have to go all out and end up making the character sound like a flamboyant homosexual.

Bitches that feel the need to hate. I literally got a comment that was like "I don't wanna read your story anymore, bye" Like ok? My response was "That's too bad, goodbye :)" Because as much as I wanted to call her out on the fact that she was being purposely rude, I didn't want to give her any more of my time or effort. Honestly, I understand if you don't like a book or whatever, but do you need to be rude about it? All you have to do is click that incredibly amazing, magical 'x' button that will take you away from the story and you won't have to bother with it again. There's many stories on here that I found that I don't particularly like, but rather than leaving a useless comment, I just exit the story. I will never understand why people spend energy on hating others. Maybe those people would be a little happier if they tried to be a little more positive.

The random bold/italicized words (suggested by wolfluver). I understand wanting to put emphasis on words, but really? Why the random words? If there is a sentence like "I went out and bought some milk" it will literally look like this on most stories "I went out and bought some milk". Like why? Why, why, why? Why?

This is all I've got for now. I don't have another chapter written up so if you'd like more, let me know more things that annoy you on here and together we can all bitch like old women :D xx