FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ON WATTPAD - RANT!

Fucked up authors

Hello again :) I'd just like to say really quickly: if you want more chapters for this book, please leave your 'rant' suggestions in the comments so that I can rant about them in the next chapter and dedicate that chapter to you :) (I've currently run out of ideas so until I get enough ideas for a new chapter, I can't update :P) 

Dedicated to LZhime for giving the most ideas for this chapter :)

Also, I decided to update this as a special thank you for getting me to 1,000 votes :) It really means a lot to me and I appreciate all of you :D So I made this a more 'special' chapter ;) 

Moving onto the rants:

The love interest always being 'big'. Why does the guy always have a penis the size of china? Newsflash: it'd be a lot more painful and a lot less preferential to have a penis that big. Size isn't the most important thing in this world.

Suggesting by pure_girl99 - the messy bun. Like really? You could do any style in the entire world and yet you gravitate towards the messy bun EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN A MESSY BUN. Girl if you write about having a messy bun ONE MORE TIME i will rip your damn weave out.

Popping the p. Let me ask you: how many times - in real life - do you go around popping your lips like a fucking fish? Further to that, it's not attractive and Niall will not fuck you just because you popped a fucking 'p'. That is not sexy.

The jumpers. Why the fuck do protagonists always wear jumpers? Do you not possess any other articles of clothing? Must a jumper be the item that your entire life revolves around? For a protagonist who shops a lot, she sure seems to be wearing a lotta jumpers. IT'S NOT FUCKING SWEATER WEATHER, PUT ON A DAMN SHIRT. 

The number 6 not six. I understand that some people are more annoyed by this than others (I personally don't mind it) But I can see why some people do get annoyed. If every story is like he kissed me 2 times and we had sex 3 times and I have 5 fingers and he has 2 dicks and I have 13 strands of pubic hair like girl just stop. The mix between numbers and letters pulls people out of stories.

The 'Coming Soon' Stories. Why would you post a story and then just not write it? What kind of fuckery is this? I mean I can understand people taking breaks (Understand but not tolerate), but where is the sense in 'coming soon'? You might as well not post it if you're not going to bother writing it. At least if people are taking breaks, they can't exactly take the story down entirely cause they've already written a part of it. Where is the sense in posting the front page for a story but not putting up any chapters? Bitch get back in your kennel.

Suggestd by niallisinthekitchen - The guys bullying the girl and the girl ends up dating the guy. You are basically asking for domestic abuse. Literally the storylines are like: Ten years ago (the characters are actually eight year olds, but apparently the flashback takes place ten years ago. So before they're born, before their parents even do the deed to get the mother pregnant) 

"My and my bestie Niall were playing in the park qnd he asked me if I loved him and I wasn't paying attention because I was looking at how big the grass was and then he came to the conclusion that I'm in love with some hot popular hot jock in our school (even though said hot popular jock has not been concieved yet, considering the story is apparently set two years before they're even born. Even if you dismissed the timeline, they're still about 5 years old so boys would not be 'hot' nor 'jocks' nor 'popular' yet because they don't even understand what those words mean. jfc)

But secretly I loved Niall. I mean I'm like five but I'm totally in love with him... After that day though, Niall changed his attitude to me because he thought I was fucking the popular five year old at my nursery club. So he decided to start beating me up in alleyways at the age of ten. Because that's what ten year olds do, apparently.