FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ON WATTPAD - RANT!

Ratchet protagonists

I know I said I'd be doing a one direction spin off parody, but I decided to turn it into an actual book! So that I could keep THIS book just for rants, and that 1D parody book just for parodies :) Check out my 'worst 1d fanfic on wattpad' story by clicking on my profile :) xx

Being in love with one guy but then moving onto his best friend. Literally this one girl moves in with a guy after they confess their love for one another and have sex all the time, then she casually bumps into HIS friend that she also has the hots for and gets it on with him. If you really loved your boyfriend that much, would you just go and bang his friend on a whim?  

When the girl is blind. Why does she not realize the guy likes her? Like I understand at the start the protagonist isn't sure so even though the guy practically throws himself at her by occasionally sexually assualting her (all of which she is perfectly fine with), she just doesn't realize he likes her. But then it's like 50 chapters later, after they've slept together and there's been those typical scenes where 'he stared into my deep chocolate brown eyes with hazel flecks and a green circle in the middle, and I stared back at him for another half an hour' and yet she still doesn't realize he likes him. There's being naive and then there's full out idiocy.

The waitress. Gotta thank Twilight for this one, but seriously? Every time: the waitress comes over and plays with her hair and flirts with a guy. Why are there never waiters? What the fuck happened to the male species in restaurants?

The girl fight. There is always at least one scene where the protgaonist punches another girl in the face for a stupid reason. Stop being so fucking territorial and insecure and get over it.

The jealous bitch. The protagonist always has that one moment where another girl flirts with her man and she feels the need to step in and prove herself either by kissing him or by yanking him away from the flirty girl or; to make it even more believable, if they're in a club the girl just develops an incredible skill in dancing and slut drops next to her man.

The typical party scene. There's always at least one raging party where they get drunk and play childish drinking games - usually something juvenile like 'seven minutes in heaven' or 'truth or dare'. Grow up, people that age don't actually do that at parties. Why is there never any dancing either? Usually the party scenes consist of: girl goes to party with her man. Girl gets insanely drunk and rubs her crotch against thirty fourth love interest. Guy gets jealous and punches said love interest in the face. Girl shimmies away and manages to get herself snatched up by a kiddy fiddler. Guy jumps into the room just in time to stop the man.

You do realize at most parties you drink, you dance, you end up making out with someone and then you pass out. Nobody gets raped, nobody sits around telling each other truths and nobody invites Herbert the effing pervert. Also, how does the guy know exactly where the pervert has dragged the protagonist off to and how does the guy know exactly when to save her?

The abnormal alcohol abuse. All stories involving teenagers always include them drinking way more than is necessary. Unless you're in University, drinking that much isn't normal. They don't wake up in the morning drinking vodka and they don't go to sleep at night sipping on Martinis. It's like every character in every story literally lives to get drunk. Considering the amount they drink also, it's clear the writers are inexperienced in their own material. You can't casually drink 40 shots of vodka on your first time drinking, like one of the stories claimed. 

Incest. I won't say much about this because I have siblings and it makes me nauseous to even discuss this. All I will say is I'm sorry but anyone that writes about this is sick. I don't usualy make my rants personal, but this is beyond disgusting.