Battlefield of Changes

The Park

I grabbed my phone and shoved it in my pocket and put my hair up into a ponytail.
I only arrived yesterday and I was already going to the park with everyone. I mean it's great that I'm making friends and all, but I can't take my mind off the texts from Emily and it's making me feel down.

"Are you coming or not!?" I heard Bailey shout from below me.
"Coming now!" I shouted back as I left my room. In the lobby, everybody was waiting with impatient looks on their faces. Tee and Jody were both carrying large bags.

"What's in those?" I asked curiously.
"In mine we have games and sun cream and in Jody's there's a picnic blanket and a load of food and drink!" Tee said cheerfully.
"Yeah and it's really heavy Tee!"
"Stop whining Jody" Carmen blurted. "This is supposed to be fun"

"Can we just go then?" Snapped a very impatient Bailey.
"Yeah, let's just go" I said before my phone beeped. I looked down at it too see another text from Emily. I opened it in hope of seeing an apology. Nope.

'Just coz your little family don't like you, you horrible little skank!"

I blinked a few times before turning my attention back to the group who were halfway out the door. I quickened my pace for a few steps in order to catch up.

We were walking along with Tee and Jody at the front, Bailey and Harry behind them, followed closely by Carmen, then Ryan and I at the back. Neither of us spoke to whole way to the park.

As we arrived Jody dumped the bag on the floor before letting out a huge sigh of relief. I scanned the area. There were a few fields surrounding a playground that had all the basic equipment as well as a skate park joined onto the playground.

Tee and Carmen instantly began laying out picnic blankets and food whilst Jody and Harry got out the games and spread them out all over the grass. The park was practically deserted. There was only a couple of other families with young children there.

I looked across at Bailey who was quite busy taunting Ryan with the dog. My phone beeped again. I sighed taking it out of my pocket for what felt like the millionth time today. To my surprise, there were three new messages which I had somehow missed on our walk up here.

'Good luck making friends, you are just a filthy, selfish nasty little creep and I never want to see you again!'

'What's up with that burn? Could you be any more ugly?'

'It's like a gift that nature gave you. Ugly, dumb, stupid and ALONE!'

Tears began welling up in my eyes but I refused to let them show, specially in public with all these new people around me. I just stuck up my chin and wondered back towards the others who had all begun eating.
"What is it with you and your phone?" Carmen asked abruptly.
"Excuse me?" I asked raising both eyebrows.
"Well it seems you've been glued to it all day!"
"Carmen's right" Jody chimed in "I mean you didn't take your eyes off it all of breakfast."

"It's not really your business." Harry said, defending me. I sent him a small grin.
"Yeah but it is really annoying!"
"Carmen!" Ryan said.
"No I'm sorry but we planned a nice picnic in the park to try and get to know her and she seems more interested in her phone than on anything we have done for her!" At that moment, my phone beeped AGAIN! Talk about bad timing.

I shot them all an apologetic look before opening my mouth in shock!

'I told everyone about your burn and self harm and how you were sent off to that filthy rotten care home because your so messed up and now everybody hates you!!! No wonder, seeing as how much of an ugly b*tch you are!'

"She's doing it now!" Carmen pestered.
"Carmen leave it" Ryan said. I glanced up at him before he continued.
"Can't you see she's clearly upset about something?"
That tipped me over the edge. I got up and ran away into the playground despite the fact that Ryan and Tee were both yelling at me to stop.

I sat down on one of the swings with my head in my hands. I don't know how long I was like that for but I knew the others just gave up and carried on with their picnic and began playing games.

I watched as Ryan entered the skate park in front of the playground and began to do loads of tricks and jumps. He was actually pretty impressive. I carried on watching him for a while,resting my head on the chain of the swing whilst I tried to forget about what was going on on my phone.

Suddenly, someone sat in the swing next to me causing Ryan to look up. He gave a smirk before continuing. I looked to my left to see Harry sat there.

"Did Carmen tell you to talk to me?" I asked.
"No. I came because I know you're sad. Everybody who lives at the dumping ground is sad at first. I've lived there for years and met lots of new people. Everybody is always sad when they first come."

"Yeah well I might be sad for quite a long time."
"Why?" The boy asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "Is it because of Ryan?"
"What? No why would I be upset because of Ryan?"
"Because he was speaking about you for hours last night when you came. He wouldn't shut up about you. I thought maybe you heard him and got angry?"
"No Harry, it wasn't Ryan."
"Ok" he said before jumping off the swing and leaving.

I watched the girls and Harry chatting on the grass for a while before turning back to notice that Ryan was now on the swing where Harry had just sat and was looking directly at me.

"You ok?" He asked. There was an uncomfortable pause. "Stupid question" he said.
I held out my phone to him. He didn't take it though, he just looked at me like I just held out a squirrel covered in custard.
"Take it!" I demanded. He quickly did as he was told and put it in his pocket.

"For so long" I continued "I thought it would be fine. That someone had finally accepted me for me. I was wrong though. I just don't want to speak to those people right now as they are forcing me to hold onto the past like tragic Velcro and I want to move on. So please Ryan, don't give me it back until tomorrow."

"These people are the reason your so upset and distracted"
"Well aren't you the genius" I said sarcastically.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------